Re: Dewey's Diary - No Motorcycles
David - at the Journal page I got a message saying I didn't have permission to post a new document. I have two new Francis journals for season 1, which I will post here since I couldn't post them there:
FRANCIS - STOCK CAR RACES
This morning I played Pool with Stanley. He was really bad, so I told him I'd show him how it's done. Turns out, I wasn't that great either, because I hit the white ball right off the Pool table and hit Drew in the head. Just as all the cadets were running to get me, Commandant Spangler came in with his dog, Patton. I knew I was going to get in trouble for smoking, so as we lined up I quickly put the cigarette on the ground and stomped on it.
Spangler walked along with Patton and when they reached me he started barking. I copped a lecture from Spangler about how I have the worst attitude he has ever seen in all his years at Marlin Academy. And how I seemed compelled to break every rule, and that I was never going to make it in the Armed Forces (as if I even wanted to join the Armed Forces anyway). Then he compared me with Patton, which basically told me I needed to act more like a Jack Russell Terrier. This made him angry and he announced there would be no hot water for the floor for the entire month. After he left, the cadets all approached me and gave me a black eye.
Back in my room, while I was examining my eye, Stanley complained that the guys were wimps, since the lump they gave me wasn't even half the size of the one he himself gave me just to get me out of Riflery. I thanked him for pulling them off me, and, because he'd done me a favour, I decided to show him something very very cool. I opened my foot-locker, revealing my new pet snake, Otis. He only cost me twenty dollars. Of couse Stanley then complained about Spangler finding out, and that he would punish both of us instead of just me. So he promised he wouldn't tell, and we headed off to class.
Somehow, during class, Otis escaped from the foot-locker. I was shocked when we got back to our room and I discovered he was gone. But it was only a matter of seconds before I found out where he was: Patton started whining and then Spangler hollered "NOOOOO!" and I knew I was in trouble again. But then I had an idea: Spangler would not be able to punish me if I went home for a visit, so I booked a flight home then called Mom. Then I learned she had been spring-cleaning, and one of the things of mine she had found was a fake ID, for Olaf Mortenson of Wheatville, Montana. I decided that instead of going home and facing whatever punishment Mom would have given me, I would stay in school and face Spangler's punishment.
And I'm glad I did, because, after Spangler called us all into the Common Room, yelled at me and extended the sentence to no hot water, no television and an 8pm curfew for the entire academy for two months. Sensing another black eye was coming, after Spangler left I asked the cadets to do me a favour and send a picture of me to Mom with "I told you so" written across it. But then a strange thing happened. They were not mad at me at all. They cheered and clapped. They hated Patton and were glad he had been eaten by Otis. So the day didn't turn out to be so bad after all.
FRANCIS - SMUNDAY
I wasn't looking forward to today, because I knew Mom would receive a letter from the Southern Alabama State telling her about a really bad thing I did: I drove a backhoe into their swimming pool and made a ten foot crack. It seemed like fun at the time. So I called Mom, ready to explain it all to her, but instead it was Malcolm who answered the phone. He told me that Mom was sick, she had slept all weekend and thought today was Sunday, so they stayed home from school. Breathing a sigh of relief, I asked him to check the mail, and sure enough, the letter was there. So I asked him to hide it for me, and I'd come up with a plan later.
But things didn't work out that way. In Mom's weakened state, she could answer any question truthfully, and my brothers used the opportunity to ask how she found out about the bike incident. Last time I was at home, my friends made a deal with my brothers that Circus would eat a wet dog-food sandwich in exchange for giving them Dewey's bike. Malcolm initially tried to cover up by saying they stole the bike, until Mom informed me that in order to come home for the summer, I had to tell her the truth. I didn't want to rat on my brothers, but I also didn't want to be stuck in Military School for the summer either. So I told Mom the truth and my brothers were grounded for two months.
So my brothers found out I ratted on them, and they were furious with me, and threatened to give Mom the letter to get back at me. So I called the guys and sent them over to get the letter. But it turned out it wasn't the letter they got - Malcolm had taken the letter out of the envelope and replaced it with coupons. I don't know why he did that, since they told me they really had no intention of actually giving Mom the letter. So what happened with the original letter? Malcolm gave it to the one person he never thought he'd give it to. Yeah, that's right, he gave it to Dewey, who went straight in and hid it under Mom's pillow.
So now I am waiting to find out what Mom is going to do to me. I do deserve it though. I shouldn't have ratted on my brothers. I wish I didn't, because then there would have been a chance that Mom wouldn't have gotten hold of the letter. At least not until the next time she spring-cleaned, anyway.