Journals Info

[CJman327]

I'm gonna make another episode thing with Malcolm now, OK? Here it is!:

*Houseboat*
***********
Here I am, writing in a stupid journal.(I really should be back scrubbing the chimney. Like Reese.)Anyway, let me start from the beginning.

Me, Reese, Dewey and Stevie were going onto a houseboat this weekend. Sure it'll be bitter and boring, but I guess I can make it worthwhile. It all started when we were the thrift store with Reese, Dewey, Mom and Dad. There was this really cool girl at the store, and we had been looking at sunglasses. While in the background, Dad was in wicked small, tight Speedos. Yeah, you can see where that leads to. The guards, a lady who was offended from Dad flirting with her even though it wasn't Mom and he was trying to get me over there to help, and the girl was there bla bla bla bla bla it goes on and on, doesn't it? Anyway, I had derailed the girl off of the "nutcase" and saying I didn't know him and ran off with her to pick out a surfboard. Oh yeah, and Reese shot a speargun at a fake dummy, and Dewey tipped over a huge basketball hoop demolishing boxes and clothesracks, with an annoyed Mom running around frantically to handle us. It's fun to be awry and destructive! Although, I'm calm, cool and collected....who am I kidding?

So Mom screamed at me for about a half and hour for Dad almost being put in jail and becoming an offender. And I was convinced Dad hated me and now liked Reese better, wait, I'm a genius, right? Why am I falling for that crud? Reese is just being a jerk! So anyway, that was all basically over and Mom was on the phone meanwhile while I was trying to struggle to apologize to Dad and was shut out by Reese, and I guess Francis is trying to go to Alaska or something? I don't know, but I'm sure it's dumb.

That weekend, we had had a blast:Kidding! SInce when do I HAVE a good time?! I'll list what went wrong this weekend in bulletins:

-I'm stuck fishing with Dad, only he bought this awesome fishing rod for me so it was kind of bittersweet.

-On top of that, our boat is going elsewhere to an empty lake besides the hot cheerleader camp me, Reese and Stevie discovered....

-Reese and Stevie are rubbing it in that they got to go to the camp

-There's nothing to do and I have to get up at 5am in a cramped bed

That's my weekend! And I guess Kitty and Abe having been going through some issues. That's my guess, kind of like Francis's thing. I wonder what's going on with him? So to wrap it all up, me and Dad were on our last day on the hosueboat and we were fishing out in the once again empty lake and I was counting the sweat that dropped from his ear, 167 to be exact! He admitted it was boring and "there probvably isn't a darn fish in this whole lake!" and I apologzied for what happened at the thrift store and that there was a girl. I was truly sorry and he accepted the apology. It was a nice moment in the trip! Wow! I can't believe it! Something.....nice! And then I was catching a fish and caught a HUGE fish! It was awesome! Dad helped me out and were gonna eat well that night! But then I went from 6 years old, back to 13. Dad asked, "Huh...isn't this brother's shirt?". There was a party going on at that camp and there was clothes everywhere in the water. I then actually KICKED Dad off of the boat and sped away on the boat to the camp, I wa so gorunded! He caught onto the boat and asked, "Why?". I kicked his hand, up to his face and knocked him out of the boat again. He yelled, "You are in so much trouble!" and I said, "I know!" I said I couldn't believe it, either and headed to paradise.

So that was my weekend. I can't stop smiling and we're grounded. WHich brings us back to the beginning of my journal entry. And speaking of Francis, to top it all off, Mom then recived a note that said Francis got legally emancipated from Marlin Academy and was moving to Alaska. They didn't get a say in this at all and neither did we, this is going to be new...........

Well how did you like it?
--CJMAN327

 

[NeCoHo]

Oh, so many memories... Maybe I'll get another Reese one up soon...

 

[CJman327]

It's funner to write about Malcolm because I can really relate to him, and Reese can be fun too, just to write lazily and write dumb things!

 

[NeCoHo]

Have you seen the earlier journals? If you haven't you must.

 

[CJman327]

You mean the ones other people have posted?

 

[NeCoHo]

Yes, those. In the begining of the thread up till now when we stopped for a while and you did another one.

 

[CJman327]

Oh.I just replied.

 

[MalcolmReeseDewey]

Why not write about all the characters including Jamie?

 

[NeCoHo]

That's what we did. Look at the first page of this thread, then the second, ect. We did that for a while, just not jamie. We went into that character's life their point of view, and wrote a journal about it.

Example:

Reese

Ida's Dance


Finding ways to hide my suspensions from mom is getting fun, but a bit of a challenge. At least Jamie is getting his daily recommended amount of fiber.

Malcolm told me that he decided to get an easy a in a music-thing class he got an F on a report, I told him how to change an F to a P, P for perfect, new grading system, he didn’t take the offer up, which means I have a back-up for that History paper I didn’t turn in a while back.

I rented a horror movie, I love those things, it was called Exhumed Maniac. When Dad started screaming I wondered why, what is so scary about a dead murder coming back to life, killing the undertaker, then strangling the pall bearers with the undertaker’s intestines. One of the bearers screamed, so the maniac stuffed his skin down his throat and he suffocated. Then the scene when the Exhumed Maniac gorges the eye balls out of a child and an adult with a rusty spoon. It was so fake, it as obvious that the stunt doubles had no eyes in the first place.

When I got “They Peeled My Face” dad was surprised to know that the director was arrested for using real corpses. Then after dad found out I was happy to share something that we both love together, you should have seen the smile on his face.

As I was at the video store I heard a loud noise, but I figured it was nothing and continued to look for movies. When I got home it looked as if dad was hiding something heavy, but it didn’t matter, I went to the rental store. I got this 72 inch TV with speakers and everything. When mom comes home I returned it and said it was defective.

Mom came home, but she didn’t talk about what happened, but what I was able to get was that she was dancing in a pie of some sorts, mmmm… pie. I love pie.

Dad and I were discussing our feelings about our past, like how I hated getting underwear for Christmas, that baseball game, but I am curious as to why he didn’t like the camping trip, I only killed 2 animals, a bird and that rat-thing.

 

[Amigo22]

FRANCIS - MALCOLM BABYSITS

When Spangler was out of his room, I snuck in and swiped his master key. It opens every door in the academy. Every door! As I stood staring at the key, savouring the moment, a care package arrived from home, and Stanley was eager for me to open it. Most of the care packages I get are mixed messages, and right now I was more interested in the fact that I was about to expose every secret sin Marlin Academy conceals to the harsh light of day. After Stanley opened the care package for me (bug-infested cookies), I convinced him to come exploring with me.

So off we went. We discovered a lost bomb shelter, which Stanley was excited about, but to me it was just about as exciting as the room full of folding chairs. I was ready to give up, declaring that Marlin Academy is the most boring place on earth, until we entered another room, where we discovered a dead man. We examined him, and discovered his name was Lester and he used to be the janitor. Stanley guessed from looking at the date on an old newspaper that he had been down there since May of ’85.

I wanted to tell someone about him, but Stanley wouldn’t let me because then Spangler would know I took the key so he would punish me and then he would punish him (since he is my roommate), meaning Stanley would have to punish me. Even though I didn’t want to be punished, I thought it was kind of sad that Lester’s family would never know what happened to him and probably still set a place for him on holidays. But Stanley disagreed, pointing out the empty scotch bottles and German Dungeon Porn.

After discovering Lester, we gave up exploring and I did some research on the dead man. Stanley was right – he had no wife or kids, and not a friend in the world. Later we went back down to the room, where we discovered all of the other cadets were having a party with loud music. Neither of us remember telling them about it, but it would have been me for sure. I declared the party was over and yelled at them about having respect for the dead. So what if I took his wallet, Lester would have wanted me to have his ID, but that’s not the point. Lester was one of us. He hated Spangler as much as we do. He was filled with rage like we are. The man was a hero, and heroes do not live alone in basements, put in beer hats or given fake moustaches (well, after ripping the moustache off him, I discovered it was actually real).

When it was dark, we carried Lester’s body out of the building and down to the lake, where I said a few words while Stanley set him alight, then gave him a boost and he floated away, burning…really fast. Turns out Drew used half a can of gas, but didn’t dispose of the can and loud explosions echoed around us. So we all bolted back inside and I quickly snuck the key back into Spangler’s office, hoping he would never know that any of this happened.

 

[yardgames]

That's good, amigo. I'm sure David will get that published soon. Nice job!

 

[Wildcat]

These are awesome! I didn't read them all yet, but the one's I read were very in character. Can anyone contribute? (I noticed that the same people seem to be doing certain characters.) I'd like to try Reese from Reese vs Stevie if that's ok.

 

[NeCoHo]

Trying to take over my job, eh? Only since I missed that episode, I'll let you try. Don't exepect any more kindness from me for the day.

 

[Amigo22]

Huh?! I was doing Francis when we started the journals.

EDIT: Yes, I was. I just looked through the 13 other pages in this thread and found 4 other entries I had written for Francis - Pilot, Houseboat, Emancipation and Lois Battles Jamie.

 

[Amigo22]

That's good, amigo. I'm sure David will get that published soon. Nice job!

Thanks Yardgames

 

[Amigo22]

Why not write about all the characters including Jamie?

Yeah, it would be good to have journals for Jamie too - and also for Hal and Lois as well. And what about other characters, besides the family, eg Stevie and the Krelboynes.

We need to get these going again, they are good. I had the idea of doing the Francis entry I did earlier today when I was reading the transcript I wrote for Malcolm Babysits last week.

 

[yardgames]

Originally the idea was to have each character have their own corresponding member, but we all lead busy lives and haven't had a whole lot of time to get many written. So feel free to write an entry for whoever you want for whichever episode you want, as long as it's not already taken.

If Justin gets mad, don't worry; I'll strangle him for you.

 

[Wildcat]

Here you go. Thanks for all your kindness Justin. Sorry if it's a bit long but I was trying to get inside his head and figure out what he was feeling. It's a strange place in there. Hope you like it!

Reese vs Stevie

(Reese)

This is going to be hard to write since I keep seeing four of everything, but I’m not allowed to get out of bed and I’m bored. I don’t know what hurts worse—my head or the fact that I got my butt kicked by Stevie. Stevie! If this ever gets out, my rep will be ruined. I only have one word for what happened—VENDETTA!

It all started when I came home last week and Stevie had his crap spread all over my desk. Is it too much to ask to be able to come home and sit down at my own desk? NO...I think not! Naturally I was pissed so I knocked his papers on the floor. Then he had the nerve to spray me in the face with his inhaler! I almost took him out right then, but I couldn’t do it. That stupid voice in my head kept telling me that it’s wrong to hit a guy in a wheelchair so I backed off. I hate that voice. It’s annoying and it keeps getting louder. I should really ask the Doctor to check it out next time I go.

Malcolm tried to make me feel bad about almost hitting Stevie. Why should I feel bad? Stevie’s gotten away with hitting me and calling me names for years just because he’s in a wheelchair and I’m sick of it! Then I had this great idea that would let me kick Stevie’s butt fair and square. I told him to meet me after school on Friday so I could give him the beating of his life. He was freaking out all week after that.

Not much else happened until Friday. Something strange is going on with Dad and Dewey. They’ve both been really irritable lately. I heard Dewey get up in the middle of the night and go outside a few days ago, but I was too tired to go see what he was up too. Then one night he and dad woke everyone up playing catch at two in the morning in their pajamas! Mom wasn’t too happy about that. She’s been acting weird lately too, but I have no idea why. I think she was crying when Malcolm and I came home from school the other day.

Getting back to Friday, I decided to numb my legs in ice so I could fight Stevie. I wanted to make it a fair fight so no one could say that I had the advantage after I beat the snot out of him. It wasn’t fun sitting in that ice for an hour, but afterwards I couldn’t feel anything in my legs—not even when I stabbed myself with an ice pick! It hurts like hell now though.

Malcolm tried to stop me, but I told him that I was tired of Stevie disrespecting me. Then I asked Malcolm why he lets him do it all the time. You’d think that he could take up for me once in awhile as many times as I've defended him in the past. No, he just lets Stevie walk all over me because they’re friends. Well, I’m his brother! It’s bad enough that Malcolm spends all his time with Stevie, but he doesn’t have to let him treat me like crap on top of it!

For the record, I’m NOT jealous of Stevie, it just pisses me off...Okay, maybe I’m a little jealous, but I’ll never admit that to Malcolm. I just wanted us to spend more time together this year before goes off to college. I guess I feel a little better because Malcolm said that even after he leaves, we’re still brothers and we’ll still see each other our whole lives. I think he even wanted to tell me that he loved me, but he played it off. Honestly, I’m glad he didn’t start saying all that sentimental crap to me. I really hate awkward moments like that.

Then the garage door suddenly crashed in and Stevie walked in wearing some kind of robot suit that looked like it was straight out of a movie. I couldn’t believe it! He was walking! And there I was on the floor, unable to move my legs. I tried to reason with him, but he came after me anyway. He started pounding on me and I guess I eventually blacked out. I think he had a lot of nerve to do that to me after I went out of my way to make it a fair fight! So here I am stuck in bed for the next few days. That’s okay. Now I have plenty of time to think of ways to get back at him. It’s NOT going to be pretty!

Oh, and mom’s making Malcolm change my bedpan. HA HA!

 

[yardgames]

That's great! I really felt like Reese was right there telling me his whole side of the story. Excellent job!

 

[CJman327]

Cool! Nice, Wildcat! Here's one I made for Reese in Burning Man! :

BURNING MAN
***********
By Reese
*******
Wow, I hate reading and writing. I have no idea why I'm doing it but it can be decent if you're writing about something TOTALLY AWESOME! Me and Malcolm went ot Burning Man this weekend-----at least we tried. Stupid Mom and stupid Dad caught us on the highway hitch-hiking. Hey, at least the guy with the lazy eye with the pistol didn't see us next to the hobo drinking alcohol! Never mind, dude. If Mom read this, she'd, like, do things I don't even want to put in writing. Ha ha, I called her stupid! Oh crud! Well, back to the story. So ofcourse they made it a family trip after genius there had to make a dumb speech trying to interpret how good Burning Man was. What does interpret mean? Can someone "pret". And "inter" means something like connect, right? I don't really know because I'm not Malcolm. Never mind, nobody likes to read mindless crud. Except me. So, I tried to jump out of the awesome RV Dad rented from his boss. Too late. We were already there. We stuck out like a stabbed heart. Wait, is it stabbed heart or sore thumb? There was a guy in a metal egg thing with blue paint on his face and glasses. And some freaky fat guys dressed as Indians! Naked people, and then what a match, the suburban Dad mistaken for a freako. Yeah, whatever.

So I was part of like a tribe with a bunch of guys in underwear. So, there was a guy heading to the naked ladies and some guy named Stanley he'd go to Burning Man a few years ago, like, died and he sprays his water stuff from Stanley on people! I got suspended for a week at school for putting a dead rat's head on my pencil! Stupid teachers. They stink. Mom was like in a hemp art thing and totally pimped Jamie up! With earrings and stuff, you know, that sort of thing. So at the last day of Burning Man, they wanted to burn the man! That guy with the dead guy gun thought I was so enthuastic so they gave me the torch. NOT AN HONOR!!!!!! I made sure they didn't burn him! It could never end! I felt so real and alive! Like I belonged! And now it's ending?!?!?!?!?! NO! Life is unfair! This was stupid! Then, Dad came by and said to torch it and leave and after Malcolm's rebirthing thing he stormed in and just wanted to get the heck out of there. But it couldn't end! Then Mom came by without a bra on with a bunch of other naked ladies blowing trumpets! Oh my god! So I flung the torch up to disperse the stupid crowd and it....landed....in the.....RV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everybopdy screamed and shouted, "Burning Van! Burning Van!". It rocked!

So Dad has to dig a septic tank with Dewey. And Dewey hated Burning Man anyway. Except me and Mom. I asked if we were going back next year. Mom said, "Totally."! Yeah!