Todd Holland, who of course directed many episodes of Malcolm, recently directed a short mockumentary trailer for Funny or Die. Entitled Wax On, F*** Off and featuring Ralph Macchio of Karate Kid fame, it shows the story of Ralph, who can’t get another job in Hollywood because he is too ‘nice’. So he sets out on a journey to do anything to be involved in scandal and therefore be marketable again. “If he were a degenerate, I could sell him”, his ‘manager’ explains.
As the title might suggest, the video does contain some strong language. That’s — kind of the point.
Don’t feel so bad for Ralph Macchio. Yes, he must be kinda bummed that what little thunder he had left is being stolen by a 12-year-old. Yes, the last good movie he was in was My Cousin Vinny. And yes, he’s only been in one theatrical release since 1993, and it made less than half a million dollars, and it starred Artie Lang. But if the above mockumentary trailer is to believed (it isn’t), Macchio’s not landing the big gigs because he’s just too normal and happy, presumably resting on his laurels Karate Kid residuals. But after an intervention by loved ones, Macchio summons the determination and courage that brought Daniel Larusso glory on the dojo mat, and redirects it to the task of sullying his nice-guy reputation with drugs and hookers in order to stage a Robert Downey Jr.– or Mickey Rourke–style comeback. The Funny or Die exclusive also features cameos by Kevin Connolly, and excellent Michael Lerner (who you’ll remember as the shoe-kissing studio chief in Barton Fink), and Macchio’s female counterpart in the category of where-are-they-now 80’s stars, Molly Ringwald.