Re: Dewey's Diary - No Motorcycles
FRANCIS'S JOURNAL FOR LOIS BATTLES JAMIE
I went home for a few days because Mom needed my help. She wanted me to think back to my earliest memories. My childhood was a nightmare. I have spent the rest of my life trying to board up that haunted house. But Mom told me I was the only one who could help her, so I had to do it. I remember we had an apartment, and it was really colourful. Mom was trying to feed me and I was refusing everything she offered. Dad came into the room freaking out because I’d broken his favourite record album and used his new razor to shave a hole in the carpet. He told Mom that what I needed was “a little discipline”. Then he left the room, and Mom gave me a Hershey bar. I had a vague feeling of Mom actually being a good mother! But how can that be, she has NEVER been a good mother! I pleaded Mom to let me stop. I didn’t want to do this to myself. They’d already made me sit there for five hours, without even telling me why I was doing this. So I had to carry on. I kind of remember the Frisbee game we used to play. I threw my lunch, bowl and all, at Mom. She ducked, and I watched the food splash like paint all over the wall and the glass bowl smash into tiny pieces on the floor. Then Dad came in freaking out again, this time because I’d broken his camera. Toys are made for breaking. Well, their toys are, anyway. While they weren’t looking, I escaped from my highchair and went to my room to get my favourite teddy bear, and we had a lighter-fluid tea party in the living room. I found the matches and tried to light a fire, just like she and Dad do when they drink hot chocolate in the evenings. When Mom found out, she lit the big fireplace and threw my teddy into it. It burned to ashes. Then she told me she loved me! She’s such a liar. It brought me to tears just thinking about that horrible moment. Mom didn’t care. She was happy that she’d finally figured out who she was. So that’s what this was all about. So she could finally figure out that she is the most horrible mother in the universe!