allison
New member
I don´t know if there already was a thread like this, but I´d like to know what your favourite quotes from the show are. Some of my favourites are these ones:
Malcolm: Reese, give me your pocket knife.
Reese: Ok, but if you miss her, you´ll only make her mader (talking about Lois)
Malcolm: I can´t believe he could really be gone.
Dewey: I know...wow, this diaper´s gotta be a five pounder.
Malcolm: I wish Jamie knew what it was for. It´s so weird. It seems like all my life I wished that something horrible would happen to Reese. And now that it has I...
Dewey: Miss him?
Malcolm: Yeah
Dewey: I do, too. Remember when he shaved my eye-brows and glued them back on so I looked permanantly surprised? That was genius.
Malcolm: Remember the pure joy he got on Christmas eve when he was smashing our presents? No matter how hard I tried, I could never make mom´s face turn to that special purple color...Reese purple.
Reese: Let me go, come on. How was I supposed to know your god looks like a monkeyman? You´re gonna regret this, if my husband finds out, I´ll make you pay. Then you´ll really be sorry.
Reese: What´s that?
Dewey: My new backpack.
Reese: That´s not a backpack. It´s mom´s purse. Now go back and get something else.
Dewey: No.
Reese: Dewey, you´re wearing an invitation to an asskicking.
Dewey: I like it.
Reese: Look, I don´t think you understand. Kids like me are dreaming about something like this. We look around the playground. We see normal kid, normal kid, and a kid with a purse. Who do you think is gonna get creamed?
Dewey: Is one of the normal kids fat?
Reese: It doesn´t matter, he´s gonna be fat everyday. But the kid with the purse, he might not wear it again.
(Dewey has a dog he threatens his brothers with and forces them to write essays)
Dewey: Pencils down. Who wants to read their essay first? Marshmallow? Why don´t you choose?
(Marshmallow goes to Malcolm and barks)
Malcolm: 50 reasons why Dewey is the greatest brother in the history of universe and I´m a worthless junk of garbage.
Reese: Is that what we were supposed to be writing about? (starts erasing his paper)
(Craig and Reese are sitting next to a fireplace rosting Marshmallows)
Craig: Alison is nice but I have to say a date´s better with just 2 people.
Reese: Can we stop calling this a date?
Malcolm: Why do we have to go shopping?
Lois: Because you ruin everything you own. Clothes just don´t magically appear in your drawers.
Dewey: Mine do.
Reese: What? What?! Ok I ate the cupcakes you baked for Dewey's class last night......And I took dad's license to make a fake ID......And I can't return your necklace because I already sold it.
Lois: I was just going to say your shirt didn't go with your pants.
Reese (relieved): Oh, whew!
Ida: Pass the rolls
(Francis licks the bread, squeezes it in his hand and throws it across the table)
Ida: You think that bothers me? Guess why your soup tasted different when you came back from bathroom.
(Hal is waiting for his friend and finally thinks he heard a car. He opens the door).
Hal: Hey, you big Jackass!
(closes the door)
Hal: It was just Mrs Hagaty turning around in that driveway.
(The family is on vacation)
Dewey (comes out of the houseboat screaming): There´s no TV! There´s no TV, there´s no TV!
Hal (points at the lake): There´s our TV.
Reese: I don´t see a TV.
Jessica: Ok, get your butts in your beds or I´ll tell everyone (looks at Dewey) that you walk around in your mother´s shoes.
Dewey: But that´s a secret!
Lois: Would you please pass the potatoes?
Ida: I think you had more than enough potatoes. Does the chair have to break before you stop eating?
Malcolm: You guys are stupid! I don´t mean that in an insulting way. I mean it in a factual way.
Dewey: I´ve had it! You guys broke all my stuff.
Reese: Shut up, Dewey. I´ve got something good going on there and I don´t want you to ruin it.
Dewey: This is all I have left
(Reese takes the toy and breaks it)
Reese: There, now you´ve got nothing to worry about. End of discussion.
Reese: I´m the one who spit in Dewey´s cereal this morning. I mean...
Dewey: I drank that milk! I licked the bowl! I hate you!
(Hal put some thermometers into 2 glasses filled with juice and ice cubes)
Hal: You know, I discoverd something. It´s kind of interesting. It appears the circular cubes cool quicker but the other ones last longer.
Lois: Oh for god sake, would you quit playing around? That is our rectal thermometer.
Hal: I´m gonna brush my teeth.
Malcolm: Mom, I hate wearing Reese´s hand-me-downs. Look at this, jelly in the pocket, the fly is broken and it smells like wet dog.
Lois: Well you should be glad he only wore it once.
Malcolm: Reese, give me your pocket knife.
Reese: Ok, but if you miss her, you´ll only make her mader (talking about Lois)
Malcolm: I can´t believe he could really be gone.
Dewey: I know...wow, this diaper´s gotta be a five pounder.
Malcolm: I wish Jamie knew what it was for. It´s so weird. It seems like all my life I wished that something horrible would happen to Reese. And now that it has I...
Dewey: Miss him?
Malcolm: Yeah
Dewey: I do, too. Remember when he shaved my eye-brows and glued them back on so I looked permanantly surprised? That was genius.
Malcolm: Remember the pure joy he got on Christmas eve when he was smashing our presents? No matter how hard I tried, I could never make mom´s face turn to that special purple color...Reese purple.
Reese: Let me go, come on. How was I supposed to know your god looks like a monkeyman? You´re gonna regret this, if my husband finds out, I´ll make you pay. Then you´ll really be sorry.
Reese: What´s that?
Dewey: My new backpack.
Reese: That´s not a backpack. It´s mom´s purse. Now go back and get something else.
Dewey: No.
Reese: Dewey, you´re wearing an invitation to an asskicking.
Dewey: I like it.
Reese: Look, I don´t think you understand. Kids like me are dreaming about something like this. We look around the playground. We see normal kid, normal kid, and a kid with a purse. Who do you think is gonna get creamed?
Dewey: Is one of the normal kids fat?
Reese: It doesn´t matter, he´s gonna be fat everyday. But the kid with the purse, he might not wear it again.
(Dewey has a dog he threatens his brothers with and forces them to write essays)
Dewey: Pencils down. Who wants to read their essay first? Marshmallow? Why don´t you choose?
(Marshmallow goes to Malcolm and barks)
Malcolm: 50 reasons why Dewey is the greatest brother in the history of universe and I´m a worthless junk of garbage.
Reese: Is that what we were supposed to be writing about? (starts erasing his paper)
(Craig and Reese are sitting next to a fireplace rosting Marshmallows)
Craig: Alison is nice but I have to say a date´s better with just 2 people.
Reese: Can we stop calling this a date?
Malcolm: Why do we have to go shopping?
Lois: Because you ruin everything you own. Clothes just don´t magically appear in your drawers.
Dewey: Mine do.
Reese: What? What?! Ok I ate the cupcakes you baked for Dewey's class last night......And I took dad's license to make a fake ID......And I can't return your necklace because I already sold it.
Lois: I was just going to say your shirt didn't go with your pants.
Reese (relieved): Oh, whew!
Ida: Pass the rolls
(Francis licks the bread, squeezes it in his hand and throws it across the table)
Ida: You think that bothers me? Guess why your soup tasted different when you came back from bathroom.
(Hal is waiting for his friend and finally thinks he heard a car. He opens the door).
Hal: Hey, you big Jackass!
(closes the door)
Hal: It was just Mrs Hagaty turning around in that driveway.
(The family is on vacation)
Dewey (comes out of the houseboat screaming): There´s no TV! There´s no TV, there´s no TV!
Hal (points at the lake): There´s our TV.
Reese: I don´t see a TV.
Jessica: Ok, get your butts in your beds or I´ll tell everyone (looks at Dewey) that you walk around in your mother´s shoes.
Dewey: But that´s a secret!
Lois: Would you please pass the potatoes?
Ida: I think you had more than enough potatoes. Does the chair have to break before you stop eating?
Malcolm: You guys are stupid! I don´t mean that in an insulting way. I mean it in a factual way.
Dewey: I´ve had it! You guys broke all my stuff.
Reese: Shut up, Dewey. I´ve got something good going on there and I don´t want you to ruin it.
Dewey: This is all I have left
(Reese takes the toy and breaks it)
Reese: There, now you´ve got nothing to worry about. End of discussion.
Reese: I´m the one who spit in Dewey´s cereal this morning. I mean...
Dewey: I drank that milk! I licked the bowl! I hate you!
(Hal put some thermometers into 2 glasses filled with juice and ice cubes)
Hal: You know, I discoverd something. It´s kind of interesting. It appears the circular cubes cool quicker but the other ones last longer.
Lois: Oh for god sake, would you quit playing around? That is our rectal thermometer.
Hal: I´m gonna brush my teeth.
Malcolm: Mom, I hate wearing Reese´s hand-me-downs. Look at this, jelly in the pocket, the fly is broken and it smells like wet dog.
Lois: Well you should be glad he only wore it once.