Injuries...full list
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Thread: Injuries...full list

  1. #1

    Default Injuries...full list

    A full list of injuries the family (and others) have sustained over the duration of the show

    Season 1

    1.Home Alone 4-A shelf fell on Malcolm's head
    2.Home Alone 4-Reese smashed his hand
    3.Home Alone 4-Francis got a knife in his face
    4.Home Alone 4-Malcolm sliced his nose w/ sharp scissors after Reese popped balloon
    5.Home Alone 4-Dewey got his nose caught in Malcolm's spinning bycicle wheel
    6.Home Alone 4-Francis squeezed Dewey's back really hard
    7.Home Alone 4-Reese fell off a bike
    8.Shame-Dewey fell out of a tree
    9.Shame-Malcolm scrapped his knee
    10.Francis Escapes-Stanley bent his thumb
    11.Francis Escapes-Malcolm attacked him in the crotch
    12.Francis Escapes-He punched Malcolm
    13.Krelboyne Picnic-Reese punched Malcolm
    14.Stock Car Races-Francis' cadets beat him up
    15.Funeral-Lois dropped a pot on her toe
    16.Rollerskates-Lois screamed so hard she threw her back
    17.The Bots and The Bees-Francis' appendix burst
    18.The Bots and the Bees-Lois forced Hal to burn off tattoo
    19.The Bots and The Bees-Hal got stung by a swarm of bees
    20.Smunday-A cart of breakables fell on Hal (and some other guy)
    21.Waterpark-Dewey got an ear infection (counts?)
    22.Waterpark-Reese snapped Malcolm's goggles at him

    Season 2

    23.Traffic Jam-Jessica pushed Malcolm down a hill; scrapped his knee
    24.Lois' Birthday-Francis punched Reese
    25.Lois' Birthday-Hal got punched by a clown
    26.Dinner out-Stevie beat up Reese
    27.Robbery-Lois punched Craig
    28.Therapy-Lois twisted Reese's finger
    29.High School Play-Lois injured herself falling on legos
    30.The Bully-A kid beat Malcolm up
    31.The Bully-A kid beat Malcolm up
    32.The Bully-Francis smashed hand trying to break out of window
    33.Krelboyne Girl-Cynthia injured Reese
    34.Krelboyne Girl-Cynthia injured Reese (again)
    35.Krelboyne Girl-Francis' cadets beat him up
    36.New Neighbors-A little girl bit Reese
    37.The Grandparents-Ida dropped Dewey
    38.The Grandparents-Bullies beat up Malcolm
    39.The Grandparents-Ida injured Malcolm
    40.Traffic Ticket-Francis broke both arms/legs falling off roof
    41.Tutoring Reese-Francis got a sharp toenail in his eye
    42.Bowling-Reese got beat up
    43.Malcolm vs. Reese-Reese beat himself up
    44.Minibike-Reese crashed a minibike
    45.Flashback-Reese injured his hand playing w/ bugzapper
    46.Flashback-Reese got plastic ball stuck in mouth

    Season 3

    47.Houseboat-Phone fell on Francis' foot, he toppled into trophy case, collapsed, and it fell on him, gashing his leg 6 inches deep!!!
    48.Houseboat-Dewey got rocks thrown at him by Lois
    49.Emancipation-Spangler got his arm cut off by Francis
    50.Emancipation-Hal bit Francis' leg
    51.Malcolm's Girlfriend-Reese got bitten by dogs (naked)
    52.Malcolm's Girlfriend-Malcolm and Reese beat up Dewey
    53.Health Scare-Francis got beat up by Lavernia
    54.Health Scare-Lavernia got beat up by Francis!
    55.Christmas-Lois caught on fire
    56.Christmas-Ida stabbed Francis in leg
    57.Reese's job-he got clubbed by baseball bat
    58.Lois' makeover-Craig got some spiderbites
    59.Lois' makerover-Hal got "crotched"
    60.Company Picnic-Lois got a spider thrown on her face; likely bitten
    61.Company Picnic-Malcolm got poison oak
    62.Company picnic-Reese got punched by a bigger guy
    63.Reese drives-Reese got pepper sprayed in the eyes
    64.Reese drives-Craig fell off the roof; fell on Jellybean and injured himself so badly he couldn't blink
    65.Cynthia's back-Hal smashed into mailbox
    66.Cynthia's back-Hal crashed into goal post
    67.Cynthia's back-Reese got beat up by Cynthia
    68.Hal's birthday-Hal and Lois held burning hot pans
    69.Dewey's dog-Dewey got his stomach pumped
    70.Dewey's dog-Marshmallow chased Craig out into the street and put him into a wheelchair
    71.Clip show-Francis got his hand stuck in a drain; likely injured
    72.Clip show-Malcolm punched Reese
    73.Monkey-A monkey stuffed hot lasagna into Craig's mouth
    74.Monkey-The monkey hit Hal in the face w/ something
    75.Monkey-A toaster fell on Hal's head

    Season 4

    76.Zoo-Hal got bitten by a tarantula
    77.Family Reunion-Hal got beat up in school
    78.Stupid Girl-Francis got beat up
    79.Forwards Backwards-Reese did something to Malcolm's pants
    80.Forwards Backwards-Reese gave MAlcolm a black eye
    81.Forwards Backwards-Reese and Malcolm crashed each other's cars into each other
    82.Forbidden Girfriend-Reese got punched in the face by a bigger guy
    83.Malcolm holds his tongue-Malcolm got a stomach ulcer
    84.Malcolm holds his tongue-Alison sprayed pepperspray in Craig's eye
    85.Boys at Ranch-Dewey fell off of a tree branch
    86.Boys at Ranch-Otto was injured (how?)
    87.Grandma Sues-Ida slipped on the leaves; broke collarbone
    88.Grandma Sues-Dewey punched himself in the face
    89.Grandma Sues-Malcolm got his face scratched by an owl
    90.If boys were girls-Malcolm punched Reese REALLY hard
    91.Long Drive-Dewey got stung on the face by bees
    92.Kicked Out-Craig flew backwards through a window (not sure if he was hurt, but given his luck...)
    93.Hal's friend-Reese threw rocks at Dewey
    94.Garage sale-Reese put a hot poker to Malcolm's hand
    95.Academic Octathlon-Hal sprayed himself to where he nearly died
    96.Clip Show #2-Hal got a REALLY bad papercut
    97.Clip Show #2-Hal and Lois pinched each other (the former was wearing shortsleeves and had to put ointment on)
    98.Clip Show #2-Dewey hit his head badly
    99.Reese's Party-Craig hit Dewey in the head with a baseball bat
    100.Reese's Party-Reese got a ball thrown at his crotch...he was OK though
    101.Reese's Party-Craig got his skin suctioned
    102.Future Malcolm-Reese punched Dewey
    103.Baby (1)-Francis got his crotch badly squeezed by Ida
    104.Baby (2)-Hal crashed the car and broke his neck
    105.Baby (2)-Lois squeezed Abe real hard

    Season 5

    106.Vegas-Reese got his hand bitten by a rabbit
    107.Goodbye Kitty-Malcolm got beat up; had to use a wheelchair
    108.Thanksgiving-Reese pulled a hot turkey out of the oven with his BARE HANDS
    109.Malcolm's Job-Francis scarred Reese with a bayonet
    110.Christmas Trees-Reese punched Dewey
    111.Christmas Trees-Craig got stung by bees when his car was filled with them
    112.Christmas Trees-Craig had an accident with a ceiling fan
    113.Christmas Trees-Craig had broke his foot looking up the Wilkerson's phone #
    114.Christmas Trees-Craig got bitten by a squirrel while fluffing up Santa's beard
    115.Block party-Boys were attacked by leeches
    116.Block party-Reese became a pinata
    117.Block party-Otto got beat up by a bull
    118.Dirty Magazine-Gretchen got her toes stepped on
    119.Dirty Magazine-Francis got his toes stepped on
    120.Dirty Magazine-Francis got his face bloody
    121.Hot Tub-Otto continually injured himself
    122.Hot Tub-Hal got hot tub rash
    123.Ida's boyfriend-Hal got ball thrown in face
    124.Ida's boyfriend-Malcolm got tongue piercing
    125.Softball-Reese got bitten by dogs
    126.Softball-Hal got his heart taken out
    127.Softball-Francis got bitten in the butt by dogs
    128.Softball-Francis got bitten by dogs
    129.Polly in the middle-A ball hit Malcolm in the crotch
    130.Polly in the middle-Craig+Abe slapped each other a lot...but was pretty mild
    131.Deweys special class-Chad bit Dewey with his sharp teeth
    132.Deweys special class-Craig twisted his ankle
    133.Deweys special class-Reese punched Dewey
    134.Victor's other family-Hal sprayed chemichals in face and was blinded
    135.Victor's other family-Susan tried to give Lois an ear piercing

    Season 6

    136.Reese comes home-Malcolm KO'd by old man
    137.Buseys Run Away-Malcolm and Reese got hurt by Fireworks
    138.Buseys Run Away-Dewey bit Lois
    139.Standee-Reese got bitten by lobster
    140.Kitty's Back-Dewey apparently sucked fire ants (probably not pleasant if he wasn't injured...)
    141.Hal's christmas Gift-Reese superglued his eyelids shut
    142.Hal sleepwalks-Hal hit Lois in the face when he came nude out of the closet
    143.Hal sleepwalks-Reese punched Dewey
    144.Lois Battles Jamie-Dewey said something about "emptying the blood out of his shoes"
    145.Lois Battles Jamie-Lois got a black eye
    146.Lois Battles Jamie-Diving board fell on Reese and fireworks exploded w/ him trapped underneath it! My personal favorite.
    147.Lois Battles Jamie-Hal and Lois got shots (?)
    148.Dewey's opera-Malcolm got his arms brutally scratched
    149.Dewey's opera-Stevie got injured when he crashed into a tree
    150.Ida loses a leg-Ida got her leg run over by a truck saving Dewey and it was so badly injured it had to be amputated
    151.Ida loses a leg-Francis got a cut on his stomach trying to escape from the grandparents'
    152.No Motorcycles-Hal cut his hand
    153.No Motorcycles-Dewey got beat up
    154.No Motorcycles-Reese got beat up
    155.No Motorcycles-Dewey and Reese beat Malcolm up
    156.No Motorcycles-Hal injured Francis
    157.No Motorcycles-Francis injured Hal
    158.Ida's Dance-Malcolm and Dewey (and Jamie? ) got their eardrums injured by extremely loud feedback
    159.Motivational Speaker-Lois got Dewey's tattoo "lasered off"
    160.Stilts-Sam punched Malcolm
    161.Stilts-Malcolm got "Holy crap---come look at this!"

    Season 7

    162.Burning Man-Malcolm got pricked by cactus
    163.Health Insurance-Roof fell on Hal, dislocating knee
    164.Health Insurance-Craig got sprayed with the fire ammunition sutff...does it count?
    165.Reese vs. Stevie-Hal and Malcolm got their hair burned off and left red scars from Malcolm's chemistry set
    166.Reese vs. Stevie-do I even have to say what happened to Reese here?!
    167.Jessica Stays over-Mike (Jessica's boyfriend) beat up Reese
    168.Sescret Boyfriend-Lois hurt her back
    169.Secret Boyfriend-Hal probably got bitten by that squirrel
    170.Blackout-Francis sliced hand
    171.Malcolm Defends Reese-Reese gave Malcolm a black eye
    172.Bride of Ida-Malcolm and Reese got each other's ears tugged BRUTALLY
    173.Bride of Ida-Dewey got his fingers smashed
    174.Bride of Ida-Dewey got hot sauce in eyes
    175.A.A.-Hal got his nipples pinched badly by Lois
    176.Hal's Dentist-Lois' father pushed her down a hill on a bike (I think)...she lost some of her teeth as a result
    177.Hal's dentist-Hal pulled tooth out
    178.Hal's dentist-Hal poured icy water where he pulled out said tooth
    179.Hal's dentist-Reese fell crotch 1st on bike
    180.Bomb Shelter-Reeze ad ewey god deir dongues buhned by lidetbulds
    181.Bomb Shelter-Hal burned his hand on pot
    182.Bomb Shelter-Malcolm got his toes stepped on
    183.Stevie in the Hospital-Stevie had some sort of operation...probably not pleasant
    184.Cattle Court-Craig got run over by stampeed
    185.Morp-Reese crashed
    186.Graduation-Hal got electrocuted (?)
    Last edited by cadetspangler; Jul 7, 2014 at 06:36 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    The Netherlands (i.e. 'Holland') ;)


    This is amazing stuff! You have a tremendous eye for detail! It's great to have you on this board. Thanks a lot!

    All the people are so happy now, their heads are caving in.
    I'm glad they are a snowman with protective rubber skin.

    Beiß mein' Schorf, Blasenloch!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2005


    Well said Rich
    Need help? Email Me Here

  4. #4


    Thank you so much!

    I kept track of this stuff as I watched the series. I put the ones that took place before said episode in italics, if you're confused about why some are in italics.

    I also added some I overlooked and added ones that have happened to other reacuring cast members, most notably Craig.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    The Netherlands (i.e. 'Holland') ;)


    Looking at your list, isn't it weird they survived all of that?!

    But then again, there was always an element of slapstick in the series too, a great mixture of the highbrow (clever references, puns and plots with parallels) and this sort of lowbrow antics that gave the show its particular quirky quality.

    All the people are so happy now, their heads are caving in.
    I'm glad they are a snowman with protective rubber skin.

    Beiß mein' Schorf, Blasenloch!

  6. #6


    I know, it's crazy!

    BTW, if there's any I'm missing, just let me know, but I think I got pretty much all of them.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2014


    In season 3, episode Clip Show, it's actually Dewey who punches Reese, not Malcolm! It's probably the only one time that Dewey ever punches Reese and I think he should get the deserved credit for it

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    United States of AMERICA


    You are right because Reese accidental revealed that he spit on his cereal that morning. Dewey gets the end of the stick in everything in the family. But I think he will be the top dog in the house after Graduation. He will be getting Reese's Bed. Jaimie and the New Baby will sleep in the old Malcolm/Dewey Bed. Dewey deserves more. He is speech at "Baby Part 1" which is in Season 4 Episode 20 was epic. Nobody even remembers his birthday. Although every Birthday we witnessed as an audience in the Wilkerson's family was not so great.

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by Grace Ambler View Post
    In season 3, episode Clip Show, it's actually Dewey who punches Reese, not Malcolm! It's probably the only one time that Dewey ever punches Reese and I think he should get the deserved credit for it
    OMG I'm sorry about that...I guess I was writing it all pretty fast...

  10. #10


    Wow...can't believe I made this over a year ago...time really flies by!


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