cadetspangler
New member
A full list of injuries the family (and others) have sustained over the duration of the show
Season 1
1.Home Alone 4-A shelf fell on Malcolm's head
2.Home Alone 4-Reese smashed his hand
3.Home Alone 4-Francis got a knife in his face
4.Home Alone 4-Malcolm sliced his nose w/ sharp scissors after Reese popped balloon
5.Home Alone 4-Dewey got his nose caught in Malcolm's spinning bycicle wheel
6.Home Alone 4-Francis squeezed Dewey's back really hard
7.Home Alone 4-Reese fell off a bike
8.Shame-Dewey fell out of a tree
9.Shame-Malcolm scrapped his knee
10.Francis Escapes-Stanley bent his thumb
11.Francis Escapes-Malcolm attacked him in the crotch
12.Francis Escapes-He punched Malcolm
13.Krelboyne Picnic-Reese punched Malcolm
14.Stock Car Races-Francis' cadets beat him up
15.Funeral-Lois dropped a pot on her toe
16.Rollerskates-Lois screamed so hard she threw her back
17.The Bots and The Bees-Francis' appendix burst
18.The Bots and the Bees-Lois forced Hal to burn off tattoo
19.The Bots and The Bees-Hal got stung by a swarm of bees
20.Smunday-A cart of breakables fell on Hal (and some other guy)
21.Waterpark-Dewey got an ear infection (counts?)
22.Waterpark-Reese snapped Malcolm's goggles at him
Season 2
23.Traffic Jam-Jessica pushed Malcolm down a hill; scrapped his knee
24.Lois' Birthday-Francis punched Reese
25.Lois' Birthday-Hal got punched by a clown
26.Dinner out-Stevie beat up Reese
27.Robbery-Lois punched Craig
28.Therapy-Lois twisted Reese's finger
29.High School Play-Lois injured herself falling on legos
30.The Bully-A kid beat Malcolm up
31.The Bully-A kid beat Malcolm up
32.The Bully-Francis smashed hand trying to break out of window
33.Krelboyne Girl-Cynthia injured Reese
34.Krelboyne Girl-Cynthia injured Reese (again)
35.Krelboyne Girl-Francis' cadets beat him up
36.New Neighbors-A little girl bit Reese
37.The Grandparents-Ida dropped Dewey
38.The Grandparents-Bullies beat up Malcolm
39.The Grandparents-Ida injured Malcolm
40.Traffic Ticket-Francis broke both arms/legs falling off roof
41.Tutoring Reese-Francis got a sharp toenail in his eye
42.Bowling-Reese got beat up
43.Malcolm vs. Reese-Reese beat himself up
44.Minibike-Reese crashed a minibike
45.Flashback-Reese injured his hand playing w/ bugzapper
46.Flashback-Reese got plastic ball stuck in mouth
Season 3
47.Houseboat-Phone fell on Francis' foot, he toppled into trophy case, collapsed, and it fell on him, gashing his leg 6 inches deep!!!
48.Houseboat-Dewey got rocks thrown at him by Lois
49.Emancipation-Spangler got his arm cut off by Francis
50.Emancipation-Hal bit Francis' leg
51.Malcolm's Girlfriend-Reese got bitten by dogs (naked)
52.Malcolm's Girlfriend-Malcolm and Reese beat up Dewey
53.Health Scare-Francis got beat up by Lavernia
54.Health Scare-Lavernia got beat up by Francis! :w00t:
55.Christmas-Lois caught on fire
56.Christmas-Ida stabbed Francis in leg
57.Reese's job-he got clubbed by baseball bat
58.Lois' makeover-Craig got some spiderbites
59.Lois' makerover-Hal got "crotched"
60.Company Picnic-Lois got a spider thrown on her face; likely bitten
61.Company Picnic-Malcolm got poison oak
62.Company picnic-Reese got punched by a bigger guy
63.Reese drives-Reese got pepper sprayed in the eyes
64.Reese drives-Craig fell off the roof; fell on Jellybean and injured himself so badly he couldn't blink
65.Cynthia's back-Hal smashed into mailbox
66.Cynthia's back-Hal crashed into goal post
67.Cynthia's back-Reese got beat up by Cynthia
68.Hal's birthday-Hal and Lois held burning hot pans
69.Dewey's dog-Dewey got his stomach pumped
70.Dewey's dog-Marshmallow chased Craig out into the street and put him into a wheelchair
71.Clip show-Francis got his hand stuck in a drain; likely injured
72.Clip show-Malcolm punched Reese
73.Monkey-A monkey stuffed hot lasagna into Craig's mouth
74.Monkey-The monkey hit Hal in the face w/ something
75.Monkey-A toaster fell on Hal's head
Season 4
76.Zoo-Hal got bitten by a tarantula
77.Family Reunion-Hal got beat up in school
78.Stupid Girl-Francis got beat up
79.Forwards Backwards-Reese did something to Malcolm's pants
80.Forwards Backwards-Reese gave MAlcolm a black eye
81.Forwards Backwards-Reese and Malcolm crashed each other's cars into each other
82.Forbidden Girfriend-Reese got punched in the face by a bigger guy
83.Malcolm holds his tongue-Malcolm got a stomach ulcer
84.Malcolm holds his tongue-Alison sprayed pepperspray in Craig's eye
85.Boys at Ranch-Dewey fell off of a tree branch
86.Boys at Ranch-Otto was injured (how?)
87.Grandma Sues-Ida slipped on the leaves; broke collarbone
88.Grandma Sues-Dewey punched himself in the face
89.Grandma Sues-Malcolm got his face scratched by an owl
90.If boys were girls-Malcolm punched Reese REALLY hard
91.Long Drive-Dewey got stung on the face by bees
92.Kicked Out-Craig flew backwards through a window (not sure if he was hurt, but given his luck...)
93.Hal's friend-Reese threw rocks at Dewey
94.Garage sale-Reese put a hot poker to Malcolm's hand
95.Academic Octathlon-Hal sprayed himself to where he nearly died
96.Clip Show #2-Hal got a REALLY bad papercut
97.Clip Show #2-Hal and Lois pinched each other (the former was wearing shortsleeves and had to put ointment on)
98.Clip Show #2-Dewey hit his head badly
99.Reese's Party-Craig hit Dewey in the head with a baseball bat
100.Reese's Party-Reese got a ball thrown at his crotch...he was OK though
101.Reese's Party-Craig got his skin suctioned
102.Future Malcolm-Reese punched Dewey
103.Baby (1)-Francis got his crotch badly squeezed by Ida
104.Baby (2)-Hal crashed the car and broke his neck
105.Baby (2)-Lois squeezed Abe real hard
Season 5
106.Vegas-Reese got his hand bitten by a rabbit
107.Goodbye Kitty-Malcolm got beat up; had to use a wheelchair
108.Thanksgiving-Reese pulled a hot turkey out of the oven with his BARE HANDS
109.Malcolm's Job-Francis scarred Reese with a bayonet
110.Christmas Trees-Reese punched Dewey
111.Christmas Trees-Craig got stung by bees when his car was filled with them
112.Christmas Trees-Craig had an accident with a ceiling fan
113.Christmas Trees-Craig had broke his foot looking up the Wilkerson's phone #
114.Christmas Trees-Craig got bitten by a squirrel while fluffing up Santa's beard
115.Block party-Boys were attacked by leeches
116.Block party-Reese became a pinata
117.Block party-Otto got beat up by a bull
118.Dirty Magazine-Gretchen got her toes stepped on
119.Dirty Magazine-Francis got his toes stepped on
120.Dirty Magazine-Francis got his face bloody
121.Hot Tub-Otto continually injured himself
122.Hot Tub-Hal got hot tub rash
123.Ida's boyfriend-Hal got ball thrown in face
124.Ida's boyfriend-Malcolm got tongue piercing
125.Softball-Reese got bitten by dogs
126.Softball-Hal got his heart taken out
127.Softball-Francis got bitten in the butt by dogs
128.Softball-Francis got bitten by dogs
129.Polly in the middle-A ball hit Malcolm in the crotch
130.Polly in the middle-Craig+Abe slapped each other a lot...but was pretty mild
131.Deweys special class-Chad bit Dewey with his sharp teeth
132.Deweys special class-Craig twisted his ankle
133.Deweys special class-Reese punched Dewey
134.Victor's other family-Hal sprayed chemichals in face and was blinded
135.Victor's other family-Susan tried to give Lois an ear piercing
Season 6
136.Reese comes home-Malcolm KO'd by old man
137.Buseys Run Away-Malcolm and Reese got hurt by Fireworks
138.Buseys Run Away-Dewey bit Lois
139.Standee-Reese got bitten by lobster
140.Kitty's Back-Dewey apparently sucked fire ants (probably not pleasant if he wasn't injured...)
141.Hal's christmas Gift-Reese superglued his eyelids shut
142.Hal sleepwalks-Hal hit Lois in the face when he came nude out of the closet
143.Hal sleepwalks-Reese punched Dewey
144.Lois Battles Jamie-Dewey said something about "emptying the blood out of his shoes"
145.Lois Battles Jamie-Lois got a black eye
146.Lois Battles Jamie-Diving board fell on Reese and fireworks exploded w/ him trapped underneath it! My personal favorite.
147.Lois Battles Jamie-Hal and Lois got shots (?)
148.Dewey's opera-Malcolm got his arms brutally scratched
149.Dewey's opera-Stevie got injured when he crashed into a tree
150.Ida loses a leg-Ida got her leg run over by a truck saving Dewey and it was so badly injured it had to be amputated
151.Ida loses a leg-Francis got a cut on his stomach trying to escape from the grandparents'
152.No Motorcycles-Hal cut his hand
153.No Motorcycles-Dewey got beat up
154.No Motorcycles-Reese got beat up
155.No Motorcycles-Dewey and Reese beat Malcolm up
156.No Motorcycles-Hal injured Francis
157.No Motorcycles-Francis injured Hal
158.Ida's Dance-Malcolm and Dewey (and Jamie? ) got their eardrums injured by extremely loud feedback
159.Motivational Speaker-Lois got Dewey's tattoo "lasered off"
160.Stilts-Sam punched Malcolm
161.Stilts-Malcolm got "Holy crap---come look at this!"
Season 7
162.Burning Man-Malcolm got pricked by cactus
163.Health Insurance-Roof fell on Hal, dislocating knee
164.Health Insurance-Craig got sprayed with the fire ammunition sutff...does it count?
165.Reese vs. Stevie-Hal and Malcolm got their hair burned off and left red scars from Malcolm's chemistry set
166.Reese vs. Stevie-do I even have to say what happened to Reese here?! :w00t:
167.Jessica Stays over-Mike (Jessica's boyfriend) beat up Reese
168.Sescret Boyfriend-Lois hurt her back
169.Secret Boyfriend-Hal probably got bitten by that squirrel
170.Blackout-Francis sliced hand
171.Malcolm Defends Reese-Reese gave Malcolm a black eye
172.Bride of Ida-Malcolm and Reese got each other's ears tugged BRUTALLY
173.Bride of Ida-Dewey got his fingers smashed
174.Bride of Ida-Dewey got hot sauce in eyes
175.A.A.-Hal got his nipples pinched badly by Lois
176.Hal's Dentist-Lois' father pushed her down a hill on a bike (I think)...she lost some of her teeth as a result
177.Hal's dentist-Hal pulled tooth out
178.Hal's dentist-Hal poured icy water where he pulled out said tooth
179.Hal's dentist-Reese fell crotch 1st on bike
180.Bomb Shelter-Reeze ad ewey god deir dongues buhned by lidetbulds
181.Bomb Shelter-Hal burned his hand on pot
182.Bomb Shelter-Malcolm got his toes stepped on
183.Stevie in the Hospital-Stevie had some sort of operation...probably not pleasant
184.Cattle Court-Craig got run over by stampeed
185.Morp-Reese crashed
186.Graduation-Hal got electrocuted (?)
...whew.
Season 1
1.Home Alone 4-A shelf fell on Malcolm's head
2.Home Alone 4-Reese smashed his hand
3.Home Alone 4-Francis got a knife in his face
4.Home Alone 4-Malcolm sliced his nose w/ sharp scissors after Reese popped balloon
5.Home Alone 4-Dewey got his nose caught in Malcolm's spinning bycicle wheel
6.Home Alone 4-Francis squeezed Dewey's back really hard
7.Home Alone 4-Reese fell off a bike
8.Shame-Dewey fell out of a tree
9.Shame-Malcolm scrapped his knee
10.Francis Escapes-Stanley bent his thumb
11.Francis Escapes-Malcolm attacked him in the crotch
12.Francis Escapes-He punched Malcolm
13.Krelboyne Picnic-Reese punched Malcolm
14.Stock Car Races-Francis' cadets beat him up
15.Funeral-Lois dropped a pot on her toe
16.Rollerskates-Lois screamed so hard she threw her back
17.The Bots and The Bees-Francis' appendix burst
18.The Bots and the Bees-Lois forced Hal to burn off tattoo
19.The Bots and The Bees-Hal got stung by a swarm of bees
20.Smunday-A cart of breakables fell on Hal (and some other guy)
21.Waterpark-Dewey got an ear infection (counts?)
22.Waterpark-Reese snapped Malcolm's goggles at him
Season 2
23.Traffic Jam-Jessica pushed Malcolm down a hill; scrapped his knee
24.Lois' Birthday-Francis punched Reese
25.Lois' Birthday-Hal got punched by a clown
26.Dinner out-Stevie beat up Reese
27.Robbery-Lois punched Craig
28.Therapy-Lois twisted Reese's finger
29.High School Play-Lois injured herself falling on legos
30.The Bully-A kid beat Malcolm up
31.The Bully-A kid beat Malcolm up
32.The Bully-Francis smashed hand trying to break out of window
33.Krelboyne Girl-Cynthia injured Reese
34.Krelboyne Girl-Cynthia injured Reese (again)
35.Krelboyne Girl-Francis' cadets beat him up
36.New Neighbors-A little girl bit Reese
37.The Grandparents-Ida dropped Dewey
38.The Grandparents-Bullies beat up Malcolm
39.The Grandparents-Ida injured Malcolm
40.Traffic Ticket-Francis broke both arms/legs falling off roof
41.Tutoring Reese-Francis got a sharp toenail in his eye
42.Bowling-Reese got beat up
43.Malcolm vs. Reese-Reese beat himself up
44.Minibike-Reese crashed a minibike
45.Flashback-Reese injured his hand playing w/ bugzapper
46.Flashback-Reese got plastic ball stuck in mouth
Season 3
47.Houseboat-Phone fell on Francis' foot, he toppled into trophy case, collapsed, and it fell on him, gashing his leg 6 inches deep!!!
48.Houseboat-Dewey got rocks thrown at him by Lois
49.Emancipation-Spangler got his arm cut off by Francis
50.Emancipation-Hal bit Francis' leg
51.Malcolm's Girlfriend-Reese got bitten by dogs (naked)
52.Malcolm's Girlfriend-Malcolm and Reese beat up Dewey
53.Health Scare-Francis got beat up by Lavernia
54.Health Scare-Lavernia got beat up by Francis! :w00t:
55.Christmas-Lois caught on fire
56.Christmas-Ida stabbed Francis in leg
57.Reese's job-he got clubbed by baseball bat
58.Lois' makeover-Craig got some spiderbites
59.Lois' makerover-Hal got "crotched"
60.Company Picnic-Lois got a spider thrown on her face; likely bitten
61.Company Picnic-Malcolm got poison oak
62.Company picnic-Reese got punched by a bigger guy
63.Reese drives-Reese got pepper sprayed in the eyes
64.Reese drives-Craig fell off the roof; fell on Jellybean and injured himself so badly he couldn't blink
65.Cynthia's back-Hal smashed into mailbox
66.Cynthia's back-Hal crashed into goal post
67.Cynthia's back-Reese got beat up by Cynthia
68.Hal's birthday-Hal and Lois held burning hot pans
69.Dewey's dog-Dewey got his stomach pumped
70.Dewey's dog-Marshmallow chased Craig out into the street and put him into a wheelchair
71.Clip show-Francis got his hand stuck in a drain; likely injured
72.Clip show-Malcolm punched Reese
73.Monkey-A monkey stuffed hot lasagna into Craig's mouth
74.Monkey-The monkey hit Hal in the face w/ something
75.Monkey-A toaster fell on Hal's head
Season 4
76.Zoo-Hal got bitten by a tarantula
77.Family Reunion-Hal got beat up in school
78.Stupid Girl-Francis got beat up
79.Forwards Backwards-Reese did something to Malcolm's pants
80.Forwards Backwards-Reese gave MAlcolm a black eye
81.Forwards Backwards-Reese and Malcolm crashed each other's cars into each other
82.Forbidden Girfriend-Reese got punched in the face by a bigger guy
83.Malcolm holds his tongue-Malcolm got a stomach ulcer
84.Malcolm holds his tongue-Alison sprayed pepperspray in Craig's eye
85.Boys at Ranch-Dewey fell off of a tree branch
86.Boys at Ranch-Otto was injured (how?)
87.Grandma Sues-Ida slipped on the leaves; broke collarbone
88.Grandma Sues-Dewey punched himself in the face
89.Grandma Sues-Malcolm got his face scratched by an owl
90.If boys were girls-Malcolm punched Reese REALLY hard
91.Long Drive-Dewey got stung on the face by bees
92.Kicked Out-Craig flew backwards through a window (not sure if he was hurt, but given his luck...)
93.Hal's friend-Reese threw rocks at Dewey
94.Garage sale-Reese put a hot poker to Malcolm's hand
95.Academic Octathlon-Hal sprayed himself to where he nearly died
96.Clip Show #2-Hal got a REALLY bad papercut
97.Clip Show #2-Hal and Lois pinched each other (the former was wearing shortsleeves and had to put ointment on)
98.Clip Show #2-Dewey hit his head badly
99.Reese's Party-Craig hit Dewey in the head with a baseball bat
100.Reese's Party-Reese got a ball thrown at his crotch...he was OK though
101.Reese's Party-Craig got his skin suctioned
102.Future Malcolm-Reese punched Dewey
103.Baby (1)-Francis got his crotch badly squeezed by Ida
104.Baby (2)-Hal crashed the car and broke his neck
105.Baby (2)-Lois squeezed Abe real hard
Season 5
106.Vegas-Reese got his hand bitten by a rabbit
107.Goodbye Kitty-Malcolm got beat up; had to use a wheelchair
108.Thanksgiving-Reese pulled a hot turkey out of the oven with his BARE HANDS
109.Malcolm's Job-Francis scarred Reese with a bayonet
110.Christmas Trees-Reese punched Dewey
111.Christmas Trees-Craig got stung by bees when his car was filled with them
112.Christmas Trees-Craig had an accident with a ceiling fan
113.Christmas Trees-Craig had broke his foot looking up the Wilkerson's phone #
114.Christmas Trees-Craig got bitten by a squirrel while fluffing up Santa's beard
115.Block party-Boys were attacked by leeches
116.Block party-Reese became a pinata
117.Block party-Otto got beat up by a bull
118.Dirty Magazine-Gretchen got her toes stepped on
119.Dirty Magazine-Francis got his toes stepped on
120.Dirty Magazine-Francis got his face bloody
121.Hot Tub-Otto continually injured himself
122.Hot Tub-Hal got hot tub rash
123.Ida's boyfriend-Hal got ball thrown in face
124.Ida's boyfriend-Malcolm got tongue piercing
125.Softball-Reese got bitten by dogs
126.Softball-Hal got his heart taken out
127.Softball-Francis got bitten in the butt by dogs
128.Softball-Francis got bitten by dogs
129.Polly in the middle-A ball hit Malcolm in the crotch
130.Polly in the middle-Craig+Abe slapped each other a lot...but was pretty mild
131.Deweys special class-Chad bit Dewey with his sharp teeth
132.Deweys special class-Craig twisted his ankle
133.Deweys special class-Reese punched Dewey
134.Victor's other family-Hal sprayed chemichals in face and was blinded
135.Victor's other family-Susan tried to give Lois an ear piercing
Season 6
136.Reese comes home-Malcolm KO'd by old man
137.Buseys Run Away-Malcolm and Reese got hurt by Fireworks
138.Buseys Run Away-Dewey bit Lois
139.Standee-Reese got bitten by lobster
140.Kitty's Back-Dewey apparently sucked fire ants (probably not pleasant if he wasn't injured...)
141.Hal's christmas Gift-Reese superglued his eyelids shut
142.Hal sleepwalks-Hal hit Lois in the face when he came nude out of the closet
143.Hal sleepwalks-Reese punched Dewey
144.Lois Battles Jamie-Dewey said something about "emptying the blood out of his shoes"
145.Lois Battles Jamie-Lois got a black eye
146.Lois Battles Jamie-Diving board fell on Reese and fireworks exploded w/ him trapped underneath it! My personal favorite.
147.Lois Battles Jamie-Hal and Lois got shots (?)
148.Dewey's opera-Malcolm got his arms brutally scratched
149.Dewey's opera-Stevie got injured when he crashed into a tree
150.Ida loses a leg-Ida got her leg run over by a truck saving Dewey and it was so badly injured it had to be amputated
151.Ida loses a leg-Francis got a cut on his stomach trying to escape from the grandparents'
152.No Motorcycles-Hal cut his hand
153.No Motorcycles-Dewey got beat up
154.No Motorcycles-Reese got beat up
155.No Motorcycles-Dewey and Reese beat Malcolm up
156.No Motorcycles-Hal injured Francis
157.No Motorcycles-Francis injured Hal
158.Ida's Dance-Malcolm and Dewey (and Jamie? ) got their eardrums injured by extremely loud feedback
159.Motivational Speaker-Lois got Dewey's tattoo "lasered off"
160.Stilts-Sam punched Malcolm
161.Stilts-Malcolm got "Holy crap---come look at this!"
Season 7
162.Burning Man-Malcolm got pricked by cactus
163.Health Insurance-Roof fell on Hal, dislocating knee
164.Health Insurance-Craig got sprayed with the fire ammunition sutff...does it count?
165.Reese vs. Stevie-Hal and Malcolm got their hair burned off and left red scars from Malcolm's chemistry set
166.Reese vs. Stevie-do I even have to say what happened to Reese here?! :w00t:
167.Jessica Stays over-Mike (Jessica's boyfriend) beat up Reese
168.Sescret Boyfriend-Lois hurt her back
169.Secret Boyfriend-Hal probably got bitten by that squirrel
170.Blackout-Francis sliced hand
171.Malcolm Defends Reese-Reese gave Malcolm a black eye
172.Bride of Ida-Malcolm and Reese got each other's ears tugged BRUTALLY
173.Bride of Ida-Dewey got his fingers smashed
174.Bride of Ida-Dewey got hot sauce in eyes
175.A.A.-Hal got his nipples pinched badly by Lois
176.Hal's Dentist-Lois' father pushed her down a hill on a bike (I think)...she lost some of her teeth as a result
177.Hal's dentist-Hal pulled tooth out
178.Hal's dentist-Hal poured icy water where he pulled out said tooth
179.Hal's dentist-Reese fell crotch 1st on bike
180.Bomb Shelter-Reeze ad ewey god deir dongues buhned by lidetbulds
181.Bomb Shelter-Hal burned his hand on pot
182.Bomb Shelter-Malcolm got his toes stepped on
183.Stevie in the Hospital-Stevie had some sort of operation...probably not pleasant
184.Cattle Court-Craig got run over by stampeed
185.Morp-Reese crashed
186.Graduation-Hal got electrocuted (?)
...whew.
Last edited: