Wow thats a lot. I can only think of too i like.
This one is from the cold opener in the episode "Waterpark"
Hal: Who want to make 5 bucks
(background)Loisskocked)Oh my god!
Malcolm: What did you do?
Hal: Yes or no, no questions asked
(background)Loisangry)Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!
Malcolm: Make it 10
Hal: Ok, your a good son
(Hal grabs Malcolm and opens the door)
(bacground)Loisscreams)OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!
Hal: Don't worry honey, I got him
This is another one of my favourites, its from the episode "Baby part 1". I don't know it word for word but i have most of it.
Lois: Mom, what are you doing here?
Ida: I'm moving in
Francis: What! You have a condo, its bigger then this house.
Ida: It burned down
(Ida puts a lit cigerette on the sofa and lights another one)
Ida: Its a mystery
Lois: Well you can't stay here, we can't afford it
Ida: (points to Piama) You can afford a maid
Piama: I'm not a maid Ida, I'm Francis's wife
Ida: Tell the help not to talk to me