Batman! Part 3

tony_montana

Semper Fidelis
NOTE*Hey guys! Here's part 3, which I am writing all over again thanks to my internet messing up the other day. Anyways, please enjoy and PLEASE, for the love of everything good, leave a reply!
Oh, and this is post #700 for me!:) Yay!...........................................
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It was late Sunday night, and a local convieneant store was closing up for the night. A lone clerk was getting the door closed when he noticed two men walking towards him. They come up to him.

Clerk: Im sorry, gentlemen, but Im closi.....
One of the guys holds a gun to his face.
Guy 1: Well, we're just gonna take some of your cash first, alright?
They push the clerk and themselves inside the store. The first robber holds the clerk at gunpoint, whilst the second robber goes behind the register and starts taking money. The robbers hear the screeching of car wheels right outside, but ignore it. They take a few minutes and rob the cash register.
Robber 1: Hey, man, grab some cigs. We need some.
The second robber grabs them.
Robber 2: That's about it. Let's g...
They turn around and, standing in the door, is Hal, dressed in his Batman costume.
Robber 1: What the?!
Hal: I suggest you put back the money, apologize to this clerk, and leave.
The robbers look at each other, and the first robber points his gun at Hal.
Robber 1: OR we can just kill you and take the money with us.
Hal's eyes get big under the mask, but he stands firm. Then, he sees a open can of salt on a shelf beside him. Before the robbers can react, he grabs the can and flings salt in the first robber's eyes.
Robber 1: GAHHH!!! MY EYES!!
Hal quickly does the same with the other robber.
Robber 2: GAHHHH!!! IT BURNS!!
Hal drops the salt and gets a back of flour from the same shelf. He whacks the first robber with it and then the second robber. Both get knocked out cold.
Hal: Well, that takes care of that. Sir, I suggest you call the police.
Hal leaves and starts walking back to the car.
Clerk(yelling after him): Hey, who are you?
Hal: You can call me...BATMAN!
Hal gets in his car and speeds off.
MINUTES later, down the street...
A guy is running away from a "portly" police officer. The guy is alot faster then the cop is and is getting far ahead of him.
Officer: Stop...wheez...in the...wheez...name of the....wheez...law!
Guy(yellng): I ain't stoppin, sucka!
The guy gets only a little ways up the street when all of a sudden, a car speeds in front of him and blocks his way.
Guy: Man, whats this crap?!
Hal(still dressed as Batman) steps out of the car.
Hal: I think we're going to sit here until that officer gets here and then he's taking you to jail!
Guy: Man, am I gonna have to kick your circus looking ass or something?!
Suddenly, Hal gets a taser out of his "utility" belt he is wearing and he tases the guy. The guy falls to the ground.
Guy: MAN!! AGGH, that hurts!!!
The officer is finally catching up and is almost to where Hal and the guy are. Hal gets in his car and drives off. The officer is just standing there watching Hal speed away.
Officer: Who WAS that?!
LATER that evening...
Hal arrives to the house and pulls into the driveway. He gets out of the car.
Hal(thinking): Well, my first night as Batman went off right! But, Im still missing something....
Hal suddenly stops.
Hal(a whisper): The bombshelter!
He runs to the backyard and sees the bombshelter in the ground.
Hal: Not bombshelter anymore....now, THE BATCAVE!
THE next morning...
It was Monday morning at the house and everyone was getting ready for school or work. Hal was drinking extra cups of coffee.
Lois: Hal, why are you drinking so much coffee?
Hal: I...er...didn't sleep well last night.
Lois: Huh. Well, anyways, better hurry before we are all late.
Lois and Hal go into the living room, where Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey are getting their backpacks ready for school, but watching tv. Amazingly, they are watching the news.
Newsman: The top story...last night, a robbery and an attempted fugitive getaway were foiled by a man dressed as the comic book hero, Batman.
Lois and the boys are looking at the tv with disbelief. Hal takes a sip of coffee to hide his smile.
Newsman: We apparently have an interview with the clerk who's store was ALMOST robbed.
Clerk: It was...er....amazing. This guy dressed up as Batman came in and stopped these two robbers!
Newscaster: We also have an interview from the cop who was chasing the escaped fugitive.
Officer: Well, I could and WOULD have stopped the fugitive, but the thing is the fugitive ran ahead of me because I...uh..tripped, but when I caught up with the fugitve seconds later, he was on the ground! This Batman character stopped him!
Lois turns the tv off.
Lois: I can't believe it! A real life Batman!
Malcolm: Im sorry to say, but...whoever dresses up as Batman to fight crime is a..well..looser.
Hal almost spits out his coffee.
Reese: Yeah, he probably sits at home all alone with no wife or girlfrie...
Hal: Now boys, I bet this Batman guy is probably a GREAT man.
Lois: Whatever. Anyways, we all better go before we are all late.
They all leave for school and work.
LATER, at the Lucky Aide store....
Lois is working in the store when Craig comes in, dressed in regular clothes.
Lois: Craig, why are you so late?
Craig: I got fired by Mr.Uperson last night.
Lois(amazed): Craig, Im..sorry. What happened?
Craig: I..
Mr.Uperson walks in the front door of the store right then.
Lois: There's Mr.Uperson right there.
Uperson: Well, it's good to see you are taking this so well, Feldspar.
Craig: Yes, sir.
Uperson: Now, there is the small matter of appointing a new assistant manager. I looked at our records and it seems the only one here who qualifies is...Lois!
Lois(amazed): Wha...ME?!
Uperson: Your years of service and good work history have come into play. Congratulations, you are now the new assistant manager!
He leaves and Lois just stands there still amazed.
Lois: Can you believe it, Craig?!
Craig: Congratulations.
Lois: Craig..Im sorry...
Craig: No. Don't be. I just got to...clean out my...your office real quick.
He goes and gets his old stuff out, which only takes a few minutes.
Lois: Craig, I..I....
Craig: Goodbye, Lois.
As Craig is leaving, he passes by a stand that has clown makeup kits on sell. He grabs one of them and takes it. He then leaves....
LATER that afternoon...
The boys get to the house from school and Hal is waiting.
Dewey: Dad? Aren't you supposed to be at work?
Hal: Er..never mind that. Anyways, Reese, I need to talk to you in the backyard.
Reese: I didn't do anything! Malcolm is the one who killed the frog and smeared him on your car!
Malcolm: WHA?!
Hal(rolls eyes): Just come back here!
Reese goes to the backyard with Hal. Hal is standing at the bombshelter.
Hal: Follow me.
They go down in it. Hal switches on the only light in the shelter. Hal has posted up Batman posters everywhere. Reese just looks around.
Reese: Soooo.....
Hal: So think about that news story you saw this morning.
Reese just stands there "thinking" and looking at the Batman posters.
Reese: Wait a minute.....YOU LIKE COMIC BOOKS!!! I knew it!
Hal(rolls eyes): For the love of...Im Batman!
Reese: YOUR Batman?!
Hal: That's right! I told you because I need your help. I want you to be my...er...."Alfred".
Reese: Why didn't you ask Malcolm?
Hal: Son, you know Malcolm is prone to sell me out in a heartbeat.
Reese: Oh yeah.
Hal: Anyways, do you accept?
Reese: I guess I do!
Hal: GREAT! You are know my Alfred. And this is...THE BATCAVE!
Hal and Reese stand there with those stupid looking smiles.
Reese: Just don't ask me to wash your clothes or any of that crap.
Hal: Deal.
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END of part 3! Hope everyone liked it! I am trying to make this story funny but believeable at the same time! Hope I pulled it off! Anyways, stay tuned for part 4 soon!:)
 

Wildcat

Retired Moderator
That was pretty funny tony. Nice job. Now that Reese knows Hal's secret, you should make him Robin, LOL. Keep it up. :)
 

tony_montana

Semper Fidelis
Thanks for your good reply Wildcat.:D
And here's a special picture that Reese35(Mike) made of Hal in the Batman costume. I found it funny, and I hope you all do too.:D
 

yardgames

Retired Administrator
Well, sorry it took me so long to reply to this one, Tony. You're right--it's no longer realistic. Actually, I enjoyed it until Hal asked Reese to join him. I thought it sounded--uh, reasonable (?)--until that point. I'm not sure why that event turned me off, but anyway, I am still enjoying this one. Definitely like the Lois storyline, and I'm glad you're not trying to pack the episode quite as much this time--just too much stuff! :D
 
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