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fansdefoot
Jan 9, 2006, 12:42 PM
Is this sentence correct to start my letter

Recently , My father told me about your existence and so I visited your website. I really like your position line : “customers Always Come First”. In fact , My parents work at la Redoute in France , I have also some work experience there and so I am very interested in working with you because it may be the same spirit.

Thanks in advance.

samboo1
Jan 9, 2006, 01:40 PM
Is this sentence correct to start my letter

Recently , My father told me about your existence and so I visited your website. I really like your position line : “customers Always Come First”. In fact , My parents work at la Redoute in France , I have also some work experience there and so I am very interested in working with you because it may be the same spirit.

Thanks in advance.If you are wondering if the English is right, well it is...just the 'I have also some work experience there and so i am...' should more be like 'I also have some work experience there, so i am...'

I dont know what you mean by the last line, 'because it may be the same spirit' but that line may be wrong, i dunno.

Hope i got the right idea, that you were asking if it was correct English:o :)

han_keep_smilin
Jan 9, 2006, 02:45 PM
same as samboo said it sounds fine to me

hope it goes well:)

fansdefoot
Jan 10, 2006, 07:13 AM
all right thanks.
I wanna say that the two companies should have the same mind , the same spirit because this is the same director .

What is the best word for express my idea , spirit or mind?
Thanks

Wildcat
Jan 10, 2006, 03:22 PM
Is this sentence correct to start my letter

Recently , My father told me about your existence and so I visited your website. I really like your position line : “customers Always Come First”. In fact , My parents work at la Redoute in France , I have also some work experience there and so I am very interested in working with you because it may be the same spirit.

Thanks in advance.

I'm not sure thatmind or spirit would really be correct for this situation. I took a look and here's what I came up with. The changes I suggested are in bold. Hope it helps.:)

Recently, my father told me about your company’s existence and so I visited your website. I really like your position (remove “line”) that “Customers Always Come First.” In fact, my parents work at la Redoute in France. I also have some work experience there (remove “and”) so I am very interested in working with you because it may be the same type of environment.

yardgames
Jan 10, 2006, 07:40 PM
A reminder to you that while we are certainly happy to help, this advice should not be constrewed as 100% correct or invincible. We can make no guarantees as to the accuracy of the information simply because we're not that smart. :) But seriously, I like to remind people this is a hobby community, so take our comments and recommendations as complete and use them at your own risk.

Wildcat
Jan 10, 2006, 08:33 PM
Are you trying to be nice about saying that you don't agree with my suggestions? ;)

OK, ok. I agree. This is an official disclaimer that if you choose to you use anything suggested here, the MITMVC, or any member herein cannot in any way, shape or form be held responsible for you not getting the job, or hating the job after you get it. :)

yardgames
Jan 10, 2006, 08:43 PM
No, not trying to criticize at all. Actually just thought with this sort of thing a disclaimer would be in place. A few months ago, a member asked for our opinions on a research project he was doing, and that's what gave me the idea; I now issue disclaimers whenever people ask us for opinions on this sort of thing.

fansdefoot
Jan 11, 2006, 04:34 AM
Thanks a lot ! you are so kind and so smart .
It wasso kind from you to spend time for me .
I owe you

fansdefoot
Jan 25, 2006, 11:32 AM
Hey , it's me once again is it right?

EXPERIENCE


Summer 2005 : Summer camp CAMP SENECA LAKE Pennsylvania (USA)
Kitchen Staff
·Worker training period, worked in worker conditions
·Improvement of my English skills
·Contribution of my youth and energy

August 2004 : Kids camp « Mons Vacances » Mons En Baroeul
Councellor
Management training period; be responsible ; create games
Contribution of my acknowledge for kids and experience July 2003 : Computer department, La Redoute , Roubaix
Temporary job (first professional experience)


·Maintenance of the network , calls in shops , patch installations



·Contribution of my rapidity


June 2000 : information day in the multimedia department of la Redoute



Thanks in advance

And about cover letter





Dear Mr YYY XXX ,
Re: Job application

Recently, my father told me about your company’s existence and so I visited your website. I really like your position that “Customers Always Come First.” In fact, my parents work at la Redoute in France. I also have some work experience there so I am very interested in working with you because it may be the same type of environment.

I am presently studying electronics and computer sciences in a french engineering school to be a manager project or an computer sciences engineer. The diploma requires five years and this one is my third. During my education I had some experiences in projects and I really think that computer sciences is my area. I often develop websites or applications in numerous languages like PHP , HTML , C . I heard that you develop in .NET , and I am interested to learn it on my own because the Microsoft Web services strategy to connect information, people, systems, and devices through software is a powerful language that I admire. I am eager to develop in this language or in anything else for you.

A placement in your firm would enable me to complete my educaton and perfect my English. I worked last year in your country in Pennsylvania as an assistant cook and I loved this experience of working in USA. I am hoping to work for an international firm and would particulary be motivated to work for your company from July 1st to the end of August. If you agree to employ me for this summer as soon as possible , I could ask the Chamber of Commerce french / american or Consul in Paris in order to take care of procedure for getting VISA J-1.

Please find enclosed a copy of my CV and copy of my last experiences. I am fully prepared to be available for an interview at your convenience.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely

NeCoHo
Jan 25, 2006, 02:03 PM
I put some corrections/edits in bold and brackets to the bottom section. :)


Dear Mr YYY XXX ,
Re: Job application

Recently, my father told me about your company’s existence so <removed: and> I visited your website. I really like your platform that “Customers Always Come First.” In fact, my parents work at la Redoute in France. I <removed: also> have some work experience there so I am very interested in working with you because it may be the same type of working environment.

I am presently studying electronics and computer sciences in a french engineering school to be a manager <removed: project> or an computer sciences engineer. The diploma requires five years and I am currently in my third. During my education I had some experiences in different areas and I really think that computer sciences is my niche. I often develop websites or applications in numerous computer codes like PHP, HTML, C(I don't know, but I think it's C++). I heard that you develop .NET, and I am interested to learn it on my own because of the Microsoft Web service's strategy to connect information, people, systems, and devices through software is a powerful idea that I admire. I am eager to develop my skills in this code, or in anything else you may like.

A placement in your firm would enable me to complete my education and perfect my English. Last year, I worked in Pennsylvania as an assistant cook and I loved working in USA. I hope to work for an international firm and would particularly be motivated to work for your company from the beginning of July to the end of August. If you agree to employ me for this summer, I could ask the Chamber of Commerce (French or American) or the Consul in Paris to take care of procedure for getting a Visa J-1.

Enclosed is a copy of my CV and my resume. I am fully prepared for an interview at your convenience.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,



I think I fixed all of it, but I'm not up on my Visa J-1 knowledge, so that part may be incorrect. I did a spell check, so everything is spelled correctly, and good luck.

yardgames
Jan 25, 2006, 02:05 PM
Also, you need to change the top to a counselor, not a councellor or whatever you said. :D

fansdefoot
Jan 27, 2006, 07:24 PM
oh it's so cool thank you so much !