Good Parent - Bad Parent (AKA Parental Poles)

admin

Retired Administrator
There seems to be this growing trend in sitcoms that there is a "good parent" in this case Hal and a "bad parent" in this case Lois.

Is this what really happens in real life, is there one parent he is all soft and gifts the children all the time regardless, and another who usually gets the task of giving out the punishments.

Does this happen in your house?

It certainly can be seen in mine, only in reverse to the Wilkersons.
 

yardgames

Retired Administrator
Re: Good Parent - Bad Parent

I disagree. I don't believe that Hal is the "good parent" and that Lois is the "bad parent." I see where you're coming from, but it's a very stereotypical view, and I honestly don't think it can be applied to MITM. In the boys' views, Lois is "bad" because she is always punishing them and saying no to everything they ask for, but Hal isn't necessarily "good." Contrary to your suggestion, Hal doesn't use talk to the boys or nurture them in any way special. In fact, he usually has very little relation to the boys at all. I don't think this makes him good or bad, it just is.
 

Malcolm

New member
Re: Good Parent - Bad Parent

I dont think Lois is bad; she is the mother of terrible children, thats all.
Any mother would be exasperated. And remember she is the only woman in the family, she has no friends, she has a terrible Mom and economic problems, and a jerk as boss, and... No, I dont think Lois is bad at all.

And Hal... well, Hal is not as good as people thinks. He has done terrible things.
So, I disagree with the Good parent-Bad parent thing.
 

ReMoss85

New member
Re: Good Parent - Bad Parent

malcolm said:
and a jerk as boss,
Speaking of which, does she even have a boss anymore? There was Mr. Pinter in season one, but he quit. Craig outranks her now. Is he the boss?
But back to the original question. I know many families with two seemingly good parents and a couple with two seemingly bad parents. But if you try hard enough, you can probably figure out which one is the better one in all cases. It's just not always obvious.
 

APK

New member
Re: Good Parent - Bad Parent

In my household, one parent might be more lenient about something than another, but the other parent is more lenient on another matter than the other parent is.

My mother, for example, is the most likely one to buy things for us...my father is more likely to be easy on something else. So it balances out.

I don't think Hal and Lois are fully "good" parents or fully "bad" ones, myself. I don't think there's any such things as perfect parents, as everyone has their flaws. I think they do what they think is best for their kids, though. Sometimes, what they think is best, might actually not be, but I think they're well-intentioned.
 

gottaluvem

Hollywood actr on the way
Re: Good Parent - Bad Parent

i don't think that it's a matter of good parent-bad parent but rather, strict parent-slave parent (the one that doesn't really have a mind of their own, and usually just agrees with strict parent) that's what it's like in my house anyway
 

Emrysgirl

New member
Re: Good Parent - Bad Parent

Doc Brown said:
In my household, one parent might be more lenient about something than another, but the other parent is more lenient on another matter than the other parent is.
That's like mine, only it's not predictable i.e. one day my dad shouts at me about something and my mom defends me and the next day it's the opposite, only the reason is still the same:confused:. It's like when one is shouting at me the other realizes that it's a bit too much:confused:. "something" is almost always grades; I'm a good kid, I don't get in trouble:).

I don't think it's that simple with Lois and Hal either. Lois is the disliked parent and Hal is the liked parent. Lois is the better parent; Hal's a bit irresponsible. But, Hal has the ability to be a good parent, just not all the time.
 

yardgames

Retired Administrator
Re: Good Parent - Bad Parent

Why is it that the irresponsible parent is the liked parent? Why is the "good" parent the unliked parent? Why is it that kids always want to rebel? What good does it do them?
 

yardgames

Retired Administrator
Re: Good Parent - Bad Parent

Express your opinions--why do you think that??

It's like saying, "Oh, and just for the record, I recycle because I do."
 

Garbage Kills Megan

parties with your mom
Re: Good Parent - Bad Parent

Sorry, it was late when I wrote that and I needed to go to bed. I didn't really have time to explain myself.

People keep saying that Hal doesn't talk with the boys or have any sort of relationship at all. I really don't think that's true. In Family Reunion, Hal meantions, or was it Jesus?, that he can talk to his boys about anything. In Hal Quits, without the stress of work he started getting a lot more involved in what was going on with the boys. When Beebee broke up with Francis, Hal went and got him and drove him home. Hal also gets extremely proud of his sons. There are many other examples of Hal being a pretty loving and nurturing parent.

The original intent of the show was for Hal to be the dad that never had any idea what was going on, completely aloof. The "do what you mother says" parent. You can definitely see this in the pilot, and a lot of the first season. He still is like this occasionally, but I think they have really developed Hal's character a lot since the first season.

See, I didn't feel like typing all that at 3 in the morning.
 

Emrysgirl

New member
Re: Good Parent - Bad Parent

yardgames said:
Why is it that the irresponsible parent is the liked parent? Why is the "good" parent the unliked parent?
It's not ALWAYS like that. If the kid grows up in a bad society/environment the strict parent may actually be fighting to keep them down. But usually, the parents are going to want good things for their kids, so whether they let you do something good is irrelevant. It's a distinction between whether they let you do only good stuff or whatever you want.

yardgames said:
Why is it that kids always want to rebel? What good does it do them?
Most often: None. They (we) just figure that the future will sort itself out.

Commonly: It's a question of degree. The kid is willing to take a little bit more of a risk and tries to have as much fun as possible without giving up anything. The parents want to be certain of stuff. When, it works out, life goes on, nothing is said. When it doesn't, the parent is right.

For example, myself and grades. I know which teachers are lenient and I postpone homework in their class so that I can finish something for another class or sometimes just watch TV. My parents expect me to turn in everything on time. Usually, I'm right, and I get to have fun and do well, or do well in both classes. But sometimes, I am wrong and I can't turn it in late, and then I get lectured.

Occasionally: The kid is right and the parent is being stubborn/irresponsible in an unusual way (putting restrictions on their kid). I don't feel like elaborating...find a feminist from the 60s and ask her:D!
 

yardgames

Retired Administrator
Re: Good Parent - Bad Parent

Maybe it has something to do with what Malcolm said early on in the series: It's the smart people that think about the consequences; the dumb people (um, most kids) don't really give a damn about the consequences. And they like the irresponsible parents who don't care about giving consequences either.
 

admin

Retired Administrator
Parental Poles

I have noticed that in many sitcoms and other tv shows, including MITM that there appears to be what I would describe as "parental poles" with one parent being all kind and soft and the other harsh and brutal.

Is this the way really life works, or is it just something of the television world?

Personally I would say that although perhaps there is a small amount of paternal polling in my family, there isn't a great deal, and indeed sometimes the "poles" of each of my parents changes.

What are people's opinions on this?
 

samboo1

New member
Re: Parental Poles

Well really, i think its different in every household. I wouldnt say my parents are like that.They both have their negative and positive sides. My mum is more of the person who nags about chores whilst my dad cares about my progress at school.
However it seems as if all my friends have a 'good and bad' parent. I dont know what i would prefer really. Its hard to decide...
 
Re: Parental Poles

I'm not sure. Both my parents agree with eachother a lot. I mean they are pretty average!! Samboo is right about the school work bit as well!!
 

yardgames

Retired Administrator
Re: Parental Poles

Lol I thought this thread seemed sort of similar, but I couldn't find the right keywords to locate it. David must have some really strong opinions on it starting a second thread :D I'll merge them.
 

p3simpson

New member
I think there both good parents because they deal with these bad kids the best they can. Lois just has an angry problem, but that doesn't make her a bad parent.
 
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