----------------------- Page 1----------------------- Transcript from Malcolm-France HOME ALONE 4 TANCIPT Dewey: And then there's ig explosion nd lots of ules. Tht's where ies come from. Lois: Oh, well, close enough. Mlcolm (TC): I did the mth once. It turns out, every 17.4 dinners; my fmily ctully hs plesnt mel together. Hl: Hey, look t this. I mde pe ngel. Lois: Oh, you're pe ngel. Stop plying with your food. Reese: (holding out spoon with potto on it) Oh, Mom... Lois: Don't you dre. Reese: Relx, I wsn't relly going to. Lois: Then don't. Reese: I wsn't going to. Lois: Then don't. Reese: Well, don't ccuse me of something tht I wsn't going to do. Mlcolm (TC): Interesting mood shift. It would tke hours to explin the psychology ehind this. So let me just put it this wy: (points to Lois) dynmite... (points to Reese) kid with mtches. Dewey: You're going to throw tht t Mom? Reese: I wsn't going to. Hl: Jeez Louise. Reese... Lois: Hl, I cn hndle this. Reese, I'm wrning you. Reese: I wsn't going to. But if you think I would, then mye I should. Mlcolm (TC): Oh, good. Now he's pnicking. Lois: Just put the spoon down nd pologize. Mlcolm (TC): Oky, she gve him n out. Reese: Apologize for wht? I wsn't going to do nything. Just stop tlking! Just stop tlking nd let me think! Mlcolm: Dd, do something. ----------------------- Page 2----------------------- Transcript from Malcolm-France Hl: I got it. (Picks up own spoonful of potto nd flicks it t Lois) Lois: Wht do you think you're doing? Hl: I'm eing cute nd spontneous? Lois: (to Reese) Don't do it. Reese: I wsn't going to. Mlcolm: (TC): Yep, this is good dinner. Cut to Kreloyne clss. The 3 o’clock ell rings. Croline: Mlcolm. Mlcolm: Yeh? Croline: Cn I see you for minute, plese? Clss: Ooh. Techer's fvourite. Techer's pet. Stevie: 'Der...Penthouse...’ Mlcolm: 'Yesterdy I pushed my friend Stevie down some stirs.' Stevie: Point... tken. Mlcolm: Wht? Croline: Mlcolm, I'm little concerned. You're doing very well in your studies, ut... I still sense n emotionl distnce etween us. And I hte it. I'd relly like us to try to connect on deeper level. Mlcolm (TC): Who. She is coming on to me. (to Croline) I thought you were dting the jnitor. Croline: Who told you tht? God. One drink nd...Never mind. Wht I m trying to sy is, I know your prents. I know you hve colourful home life. So, just rememer if you ever need nything t ll - sympthetic er, shoulder to cry on - I wnt you to come to me. Mlcolm (TC): Yeh. Tht's wht I need. Another mom. (to Croline) Oky. Gret. Thnks lot. Well, I got to go do the...thing. Dewey: And then I drew root, Frncis. But my cryon roke. And then I hd Popsicle. I men, I hd 12 Popsicles. You like Popsicles, Frncis? Reese: Shut up, Dewey. Stop ugging Frncis. I'm so gld you're home. You don't know wht it's like deling with these little kids ll dy. ----------------------- Page 3----------------------- Transcript from Malcolm-France Mlcolm (TC): It's the coolest thing. It's the first time Frncis is home from militry school. Mom nd Dd re going off to some wedding nd Frncis is in chrge of us for the whole weekend. I cn't elieve how much I missed him. (to Frncis) Hey. Frncis: Hmph. Mlcolm (TC): He's so gret. Lois: (clling) Boys! The numer for the hotel is on the counter. I left money for pizz, ut I wnt receipt nd exct chnge. Hl: Yep, tht underwer is going to wrinkle. It's kind of nice hving Frncis ck in the house, don't you think? Wht? Lois: Nothing. You're just cute when you think you're eing sutle. Hl: Relly? Lois: Of course it's nice hving Frncis home. Hl: Well, it's een few months now. Mye it's time to, you know, think out it. Lois: I don't know. Mye. We'll see how he does this weekend. God, I hte this hirdo. I don't even know why I other trying to impress your fmily nymore. They've lwys hted me. Hl: Well, you re the one who stole their little Hlly wy from them. Better get moving. Dewey: And then it got wy. But I found nother one, ut it died. And then... Reese: I sid leve him lone, you utt-munch. Dewey: Let me go. Reese: Mke me. (Dewey clims onto Reese’s ck nd ynks his nose) Mlcolm: Guys, quit it. Listen for second. I just herd Mom nd Dd. They're thinking out letting Frncis come home. Reese: You serious? Mlcolm: Yeh. They wnt to see how he does with us this weekend. Oky? So we cn't screw up. Reese: Cool. Let's go tell him. ----------------------- Page 4----------------------- Transcript from Malcolm-France Mlcolm: No. You know how Frncis gets when people tell him wht to do. Lois: I m wrning you. If you get your nose pierced, you re going to militry school. And I men it. Relly. Do you her me? Frncis: Hey, Mom. (close up of Frncis’s nose piercing) Wht's for dinner? Reese: Right. Wht re we going to do? Mlcolm: We're going to e good, tht's wht. Dewey: How do we e good? Mlcolm: I don't know. (TC): Honestly, it's never come up efore. Look, we're just not going to do nything. Tht wy, we cn't get in ny troule. Hl: Honey. We're lte. We etter hit the rod. Lois: Fine. I'll shve my legs in the cr. (to oys) Oky. I've mrked the liquor ottles, nd we cn tste when they're wtered down. I've locked out the smut chnnel, counted your fther's cigrs. I've checked the odometer on the cr nd the lnce on the credit crds. We love you, hve good time. And just rememer, Dewey will tell us everything you did while we're gone. Hl: h, wht your mother sid, oys. Minus one. (they drive off, then reverse ck gin) Lois: Don't even think out it. Mlcolm: Think out wht? Frncis: She's luffing. Oky, I m going to show you guys the coolest thing you hve ever seen. Get me some lighter fluid, wffle iron nd one of Dewey's stuffed nimls. The furrier, the etter. Mlcolm: Actully, we're kind of tired. Frncis: Tired? Reese: Yeh. Tired. Dewey: I'm not tired. (Mlcolm hits him) Oky, yeh, I'm tired. Mlcolm: Let's just go wtch T. Frncis: Whtever. Mlcolm (TC): This pln etter work. The only thing worse thn no T is golf on T. ----------------------- Page 5----------------------- Transcript from Malcolm-France Frncis: Oh, come on, guys. Let's go outside. Let's go do something. Mlcolm: No. They're only on the sixth hole. (TC): They're only on the sixth hole. Frncis: (nswering phone) Hello. Richie: Frncis, ud, I herd you were in town. Justin: You d mn, Frncis! Frncis: Hey, guys, wht's going on? Richie: Sme old, sme old, mn. Oh, Circus sys hi. Dude, you're not going to elieve it. I finlly moved out. I'm living in the sement now. Totl freedom, dude. Justin: You d mn, Frncis! Richie: (out his Mum delivering his clen wshing) Mom, you're supposed to knock. Dude, we're coming over. Frncis: Oky. Hey, Richie nd the guys re coming over. Mlcolm: Mye they shouldn't. You know, Mom nd Dd re gone. Frncis: Oky, got it. Richie, listen to me. I'm wtching my rothers, so we got to hng here. And no prties oky? I'm serious. It's got to e just the three of you. Frncis: (s he nd Mlcolm look round the trshed yrd) Huh. You wouldn't think only three guys could do so much dmge. Richie: (clling from Police cr) Cll us next time you're in town. Justin: (clling) You d mn, Frncis! Lois: Are you trying to seduce me? I cn't elieve we're going to this wedding. Wht wste of time. Hl: Oh, come on, I promise it'll e fun. Lois: Hl, I'm not Dewey. Hl: Sorry. But still, we're lone, we're wy from the kids. Right now, we're just two unencumered consenting dults. I sy we enjoy it. Lois: Yeh, you're right. It will e nice to hve some time for just the two of us. And I'm going to love not hving to yell t someody every 20 seconds. (yells out window) Either speed up or get off the rod, jckss! Hl: Asolutely deserved it. ----------------------- Page 6----------------------- Transcript from Malcolm-France Reese: I hte those guys. Frncis: Did you see Circus rek tht cinder lock with his hed? Tht's good lesson for you guys. It didn't rek the first six times. But did he quit trying? No, sir. Mlcolm: Frncis, we hve to clen this up. Frncis: Yeh. Mlcolm: No. I men now. If Mom nd Dd see this they'll frek. Frncis: So wht else is new? They lwys frek. I'm used to it. Mlcolm: This is different. We hve to clen up. Frncis: Wht's with you guys? I'm in chrge here. I'm the only one who'll get in troule. Relx. Dewey: But we wnt you to come home. Frncis: Wht? Mlcolm: I herd Mom nd Dd tlking. This weekend is like test for you, or trp. If you do good, they my let you come home. Reese: And if you don't, they're gonn toss your utt ck into militry school. Frncis: Oky, look... Mlcolm: Frncis, it sucks round here without you. Cn't you just try for our ske? Frncis: Look, guys, I pprecite your sentiment. But they're not going to decide my whole future sed on how I ehve over one weekend without even telling me out it. It's too ritrry. It's unresonle. Mlcolm: It's Mom. Frncis: Oky, let's clen up. (The oys frnticlly run round tidying up the house) It's perfect. Reese: The house hs never een this clen. Mlcolm: h-oh. Frncis: Wht? Mlcolm: It's too clen. Frncis: You're right. They'll never uy it. Hl: Ah. Looks like we're the only ones ----------------------- Page 7----------------------- Transcript from Malcolm-France who gve them pot holders. Hi. Lois: Hi. It's gret to see you. Reltive: You, too. You look terrific. Lois: How long do you think it's een? Reltive: I don't know. Will you excuse me? Hl: Well, tht ws worth driving 600 miles for. Who ws tht guy? Lois: It's the groom, Hl. Hl: I wish people would wer nme tgs t these things. Frncis: Oh, perfect. Nice touch with the red crums, Dewey. Dewey: (mouthful of red) Huh? Reese: I clipped my toenils on the coffee tle. Frncis: Attoy. She will never know thing. Mlcolm: Wit. (spreds chip crums on the mntelpiece) T-d! (stuff crshes down on top of him) Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Frncis: Mlcolm! Mlcolm, re you oky? Mlcolm: I think so. Ow!!! Frncis: Hold still. Come here nd let me see it. Let me see it. Mlcolm: How does it look? Frncis: Not... too d. Dewey: Put his fce ck on! Reese: Oh, mn, wht's tht white stuff? Is tht one? Mlcolm: Wht?! Frncis: Get ice nd some pper towels. We hve to put pressure on it. Mlcolm: Ow! Ow! Ow! Frncis: I'm sorry. I hve to put pressure on it. Reese, give me the ice! Reese: We don't hve ny. We've got this. Frncis: Fine. Give me some ntiseptic. (phone rings) Don't nswer tht. ----------------------- Page 8----------------------- Transcript from Malcolm-France Dewey: (nswering phone) Hello. Lois: Hi, Dewey. Dewey: Hi, Mom. Lois: We're just clling to check in. Let me spek with Frncis. Dewey: He's... in the throom. Lois: Well, let me tlk to Mlcolm. Dewey: He's in the throom. Lois: They're oth in the throom? Wht re they doing in there? Dewey: I hve to go to the throom. Frncis: We hve to get you stitches. Let's go to the hospitl. Mlcolm: No! You cn't. Mom nd Dd will find out. Frncis: Mlcolm, this is hed injury. You could hve concussion. Mlcolm: (TC): Concussion? I think he's mking too much of this. I'm not s figgled s he hoogers. (to Frncis) No! I don't cre. I'm not going to the hospitl. Do you her me? There is no wy tht I... (Reese holds up mirror) Get the cr! (out his fce covered y lnket) I cn't see nything. Reese: You wnt to get lood ll over the cr? Mlcolm: Wit! We cn't tke the cr. They'll know. Mom checked the odometer, rememer? Frncis: I'm on top of it. (drives cr ckwrds to the hospitl) Dewey: Whee! Hi, school! Reese: Oh, Mlcolm, you should see this! Frncis is kicking ss! Frncis: (out the rdio) I hte this '80s crp. Mlcolm: One good thing out hed injury: there's good chnce I won't rememer ny of this. Frncis: Oh, gret. A one-wy street. How does tht work if I'm going ckwrds? Priest: And on this joyous dy, s we celerte the occsion of two souls joining into one... ----------------------- Page 9----------------------- Transcript from Malcolm-France Hl: Do you think this is going to e one of those long services? Wht's wrong? Lois: Did you know tht your fmily hs given me nicknme? Hl: Relly? Tht's nice. Wht is it? Lois: Lois... Common... Denomintor. Hl: Hey, come on. It's just tht they've never seen nyone like you. I men, you're, you're honest, nd, uh... unpretentious. Direct. They're ffled y tht. I'm the only one tht gets you, Lois, nd, frnkly, I...I like tht. Kind of mkes you my secret tresure. Lois: Oh, Hl. Priest: ...Between the Lord nd us, his servnts, two people rought together in love... (Hl nd Lois strt mking out) Hospitl Clerk:Oh, for God's ske. You kids gin? And hed injury. You oys like to keep it interesting, don't you? Mlcolm (TC): We kind of hve history here. Frncis: Look, Doc, uh, out the ill... Doctor: Oh, don't worry. We'll send it to your prents. Frncis: Yeh, well... we were kind of thinking we'd py for it now. Doctor: Okeydokey, ut it's proly going to e out $400. Mlcolm: Wht?! $400? Don't you hve frequent customer discount like t the cr wsh? Or mye we could work it off. We could empty edpns, or wsh cdvers. (TC): It's proly not nerly s cool s it sounds. Doctor: Sorry. Frncis: Well, we're screwed. Mlcolm: Come on, there's got to e something we cn do, someone we cn cll. Frncis: There's no one, Mlcolm. Mlcolm: Actully, there might e, ut I'm not sure if it's worth it. Croline: Oh, Mlcolm! Are you ll right? Sorry it took me so long. I ws hving chrdonny when you clled, nd I hd to tke c. Oh, God, I knew we mde deeper connection. I just knew it. Now it's going to e hrd to turn ginst your prents, ut in time you'll see... ----------------------- Page 10----------------------- Transcript from Malcolm-France Mlcolm: No! You don't understnd. My prents didn't do this. It ws just n ccident, nd they cn't find out out it. Croline: Wht? Mlcolm: It's kind of complicted. See, my prents re wy t wedding, nd my rother is home from militry school to tke cre of us. I don't think people should e punished just 'cuse their dd uses chep nils. Reese: We need $400, ldy. Mlcolm: Will you let me tlk?! We need the money for the doctor ill, ecuse if my prents find out tht I got hurt then they'll send Frncis wy, nd we'll never see him gin, nd, you know, we love him. Croline: Mlcolm, I cn't do tht. Mlcolm: But you sid if I ever needed nything... Croline: Yes, I ws tlking out emotionl stuff. I... Do you hve ny ide wht techer erns? I hve $62 in my checking ccount. Mlcolm: They tke credit crds. Croline: I'm sorry. I'm... I'm, I'm just sorry. Frncis: We cn rek her. Mlcolm: Guilt. Go for guilt. Frncis: I got it. (clling) Tht's oky. Thnks, nywy. (crouches down in front of Dewey) Well, squirt, looks like I'm going to e going ck to militry school nd I'm not going to see you for relly, relly long time. But I need you to e rve. Cn you do tht for me, squirt? Dewey: (crying) Stop, Frncis! Frncis: I wish I could, kiddo, ut I cn't. Dewey: Why re you doing this? Frncis: I'm not doing this, Dewey. It's just the wy life is sometimes. Plese stop crying. Dewey: It hurts! Frncis: I know it does. It hurts me too. Croline: Wit! I'll, I'll do it. I guess Jmic isn't going nywhere. Where is my credit crd? Reese: It fell out of your wllet. ----------------------- Page 11----------------------- Transcript from Malcolm-France Croline: How did tht hppen? Reese: Let's go. Processing is right over here. Right ner the vending mchines. Do you hve ny chnge? Thnk you. Frncis: Wy to tke one for the tem, uddy. When we get home you cn et ice crem until you puke. Dewey: Yy. Cut to the house. The oys re stnding in line wtching Hl nd Lois inspecting the house. Lois: Huh. Well... no holes in the wll. Hl: or crppy ttempts to plster them up. Lois: But I'm sure there's something. There's lwys something. (sees Mlcolm wering enie) Wht re you hiding underneth tht ht? Mlcolm: Nothing. I ws just wering... (Lois pulls ht off) Lois: You oys. Mlcolm: Tht's it?! So, you guys think Frncis did good jo tking cre of us, then? Hl: Oh, gret jo. Lois: Asolutely. You know, Frncis, we were hving our douts out tht school, ut it's relly mtured you. In fct, I think it's the est decision we ever mde. Mlcolm: Mom: 62,437...Kids: zero. (TC): So, we get to see Frncis gin in month or two. I know. It sucks, ut we gve it shot. And school's esier now ecuse Croline won't even mke eye contct with me nymore. So it wsn't complete wste, nd Mom lwys sys it's not wsted experience if you lern something from it. And I definitely think I did. (to Reese) Oky! Redy!